The words are brutal. Honest.
His face falls. "Vespera—"
"It's not you," I say quickly. "You did everything right. You were good. But my body..." I gesture helplessly. "The bonds did something to me. Changed something fundamental. And now I can't even come unless it's with them."
The words hang in the air. Ugly. True.
"The Alphas," he says quietly.
"Yeah." I slide down the wall to sit on the floor, head in my hands. "The bonds did something to me. Changed something fundamental. And now I can't—" My voice cracks. "I can't even come unless it's with them."
Ben sits beside me, pulling his shirt off to wipe his hand clean before handing me my leggings. No judgment. No anger. Just quiet understanding.
"That's fucked up," he says finally.
"Yeah."
"But also... kind of fascinating? From a biological perspective?"
Despite everything, I laugh. It comes out wet and broken. "You're such a nerd."
"Theater nerd," he corrects. Putting his arm around me. Safe. Platonic. Friend.
Not lover. Never lover. Because my body won't let him be.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"For what?"
"For trying to use you to prove something."
"You weren't using me." He squeezes my shoulder. "You were trying to figure out if you still had choices. If the bonds control everything or just some things."
"And?"
"And now you know." He pulls me closer. "They don't control your heart. Your mind. Who you care about. But your body..." He trails off.
"My body belongs to them." The realization sits heavy in my chest. "Even when I don't want it to. Even when I'm trying to prove otherwise. The bonds made sure of that."
"Biology's a bitch," he says.
"Understatement of the century."
We sit there in silence, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me. Comfort without expectation. Friendship without the complicated desire that brought us here.
"I should go home," I say eventually. "They're probably losing their minds."
"They're your mates," he points out. "Losing their minds is kind of their job when you're out with another man at 1 AM."
"We didn't do anything." Technically. "Just practiced."
"We did more than practice." He stands, offers me his hand. "But yeah. Nothing that needs to be reported to the Alpha council."
I let him pull me up. "Thank you. For being understanding. For not making this worse."
"I'm not giving up," he says. "On being your friend. On being there when you need someone who isn't pack. But I get it now. Your body made a choice even if your mind didn't."
"My body's an asshole."
