Tonight, she falls asleep before I’m done with the first song, and when I leave the nursery, it’s to find Hawk cleaning up the kitchen. He looks so handsome. I want so badly to touch him the way he touches me, but I know what will happen if I approach him. He’ll kiss me, lift me onto the counter, and then kiss my body, but…I want more.
The one thing he keeps from me.
A part of me thinks that he’s worried about taking the next step and getting me pregnant, but I’ve seen the condoms he keeps in the bathroom so that can’t be it. Or maybe…maybe he just doesn’t want me to touch him. Maybe this thing he does to me is his way of showing his gratitude for the role I’m playing.
His fake fiancée.
I glance down at the ring again. Christ, it’s messing with my mind.
“Amelia?” I look up to find him watching me with a puzzled look on his face. “Is everything alright?”
“Why don’t you want me?”
He blinks at me as if he isn’t quite sure he heard what he thinks he did. “What?”
I turn away, suddenly terrified of getting an answer from him. What if he confirms my fears and says everything he does is out of some stupid, misplaced sense of gratitude and not genuine desire?
“Nothing,” I say, tempted to leave and spend the night in my own place for the first time in days, but Hawk takes my hand before I can consider the option and turns me to look at him.
“Talk to me, angel,” he rasps, rubbing his thumb over my wrist. “What do you mean, I don’t want you?”
“Nothing, forget I said anything—”
“Why do you think I don’t want you, Amelia?”
“You won’t let me touch you,” I snap, surprising us both. “I…I don’t know how long something like this is supposed to go on before people finally have sex but every time I try to touch you or hint at more, you just…close me out.” I huff, brushing my hair from my face.
The surprise on his face from my outburst turns softer, almost fond. “You are so beautiful it drives me fucking insane.”
“And you are deflecting with compliments as you always do.”
He chuckles. “You’re not someone I met at some downtown bar, Amelia,” he says, walking us to the couch. He drops onto the sofa and pulls me down on his lap. “The goal here is not to get into your pants and then just disappear. I care about you.” He cups my jaw and turns my eyes to his. “I like you enough to want to take it slow with you. I didn’t want you to feel pressured or rush into something you weren’t prepared for.”
“I’ve been prepared for a year,” I blurt out, my brain-to-mouth filter practically nonexistent. “Ever since I first ran into you in the hallway.”
“Is that so?” Heat is lighting up those blue eyes now, and he pulls me closer to him on his lap.
I flush but don’t pull away. “I don’t want to wait any longer,” I say, my heart racing as I lean forward to touch my mouth to his. “I want your hands on me and I want mine on you. Please let me try to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”
“Amelia—”
“I want this,” I say, bravely dropping my palm between us and tracing it down his chest to the bulge in his sweatpants. He groans when I touch his erection, his hips pressing against my hand. “You want me too, right?”
“Desperately, but, baby—”
I push into the kiss, sliding my curious fingers under his shirt and touching that muscular body I’ve longed to feel under my fingertips. He groans against my mouth, and instead of creating the distance I’m used to receiving when things turn heated, this time he pulls me closer.
The kiss, which starts off soft and gentle, quickly turns urgent as I push into him, panting hard against him, almost as if I want to climb into his skin. He hisses when my nail accidentally grazes his nipple, so I do it again to get a reaction from him.
“You’re killing me, angel.”
“It’s like I have all this excess need bottled up,” I whine when he pulls back. “You’re not going to stop me, are you?”
“Baby—”
“It’s my turn,” I say, scrambling to get off his lap. There’s surprise in his eyes when I drop to my knees between his legs, but I don’t allow myself to overthink the moment or get all shy about it. I reach for the waistband of his sweats, but he grabs my hand before I can tug them down. I read the lust and heat in his eyes, but there is also…concern.
“Amelia, are you sure about this?”
