I’m not sure what to do or say, only that these two men clearly care about each other and any rift between them deserves to be healed. Damian breathes through gritted teeth, then looks at me, a look of devastation in his eyes.
“We’re going to do this because it’s the right thing,” he says, holding my gaze. “No matter what happens, no matter how this plays out, we’ll always have that… this is the right thing.”
“I could do with some good karma,” Julian says. “But…”
“What?” I ask, my voice breaking.
Emotion is laced heavily in the air, like any moment we could all burst into tears. Or maybe that’s just me projecting because I feel a sob creeping up my neck and threatening to burst out.
“Before we leave, Celine, we’ll drive you out of the city. Take you to a safe house. You’ll wait there, hidden, and if you don’t hear from us…” He clears his throat.
“There will be an exit strategy,” Damian picks up. “You’ll have a car and directions to another safe house, then another, until you can meet with my FBI contact and start a new life.”
“I don’t want to think about that,” I whisper.
Damian rushes across the room and takes my hands. For a moment, he hesitates when he realizes what he’s done, how far he’s let himself go without even thinking about it. Over his shoulder, I see the indecision on my big brother’s face, a flicker of rage before he buries it.
Damian leans down, stares at me. “Think about it,” he tells me. “If we go in there to save those poor girls, and I don’t know you’re safe and ready to run… it’ll break me.”
“Me too,” Julian says with a croak.
“What were you going to say?” I ask Julian. “You saidbut… but you didn’t finish.”
Damian turns to him, his hand still on mine. It’s like he can’t stop, like he needs as much physical contact between us as he can possibly get before he rides into the gates of hell.
“I need to know what this is,” he says. “Is it a fling? Is it something else? You said it’s only been a little while, but if that’s a lie, now is the time to come clean about that.”
“It’s not a lie,” Damian says in disgust.
Julian waves his hand angrily. “Look at you both,” he snaps. “You expect me to believe that this has been going on fordays? That you weren’t sneaking around long before you helped with his wounds, Celine? Really?”
“It’s the truth,” Damian says, matter of fact. “Life isn’t a fairytale. I’m too old, and life has beaten me up too many times to believe in love at first sight…” His voice grows husky. “But if I said we didn’t have something real, I’d be lying.”
Julian looks at me expectantly.
The stress and the emotion catches up and tears prick my eyes. “Oh, we’ve got something,” I murmur, struggling to hold back a sob. Julian has never been able to see me cry without comforting me, and I don’t want to manipulate him. “You want to know what this is? There are no simple answers. But we have something, something real.”
Julian groans and leans against the counter, massaging his jaw. “This is still so damn surreal for me, seeing you two like this… but I know you both. And I’ve never seen you so content before, so sure. Either of you. Damian, you’ve never dated, never thought you were worth it. And Celine, you’ve been so busy and, let’s face it…”
“Go on,” I whisper.
“Self-conscious,” he says with a shrug.
“I don’t feel that way with Damian,” I tell him honestly.
How could I?
Every time he looks at me, it’s like the first time, like my undeniable beauty is crashing into him.
Every time he looks at me, I learn the meaning of the word obsession.
“If we’re going to do this,” he says. “If we’re going to gear up and go to war against the mob, if we’re going to take out the Don and his fucked-up goons, then I have to be okay with this. I can’t go in there with this hanging over me. I have to put your happiness before this weird feeling.”
A shudder escapes me, a sob finally breaking like a wave on a beach. With the hand that isn’t glued to Damian’s like I’m holding on for dear life, I wipe a tear from my cheek.
“It’s not easy,” Julian says. “But I accept this–accept you two together.”
“Don’t feel like you have to,” I whisper, not daring to get my hopes up too fast.
