Being seen.
If Ember knows all the bad and still sees good, if she believes I can do better than my past, then she’ll give me all I’ve ever wanted.
I have to do what will set us back.
Violence.
Farrah can’t know Ember’s gift. It’s too powerful, and the Echelons would kill her if they knew about it.
There’s a possibility they could be forced to believe anything she tells them? They’d never let that possibility exist.
Farrah needs a Memory Extraction to forget, which means I need her to lay still, in order to access her head.
I move in to take her to the ground, but she easily blocks me, because my footing is weak and I’m half-assing it. I go in again, and this time, when Farrah shoves, I react. Next thing I know, she hits the ground hard. Harder than I meant. Her head bounces on the stone, shock reverberating through the ground.
I get on top of her and contemplate a choke to knock her unconscious or a hit to leave an impression. Case’s voice rings in my head:Lee, are you trying to kill him?
A thought flashes through me that I don’t always know how far I’m taking it; I can’t always contain how much stronger I am.
She squirms beneath me, batting at me, trying to escape, but I press down on her harder. My arms vibrate with restless energy.Do it,I think,hit her as hard as her Mind Trick.
That inner voice ends up being louder than Case’s.
I was trained not to think, not to hesitate, but in the seconds my fist itches for contact, Farrah’s eyes roll back. She stopsresisting. My fist is raised, butInever swung.
Someone else knocked her out with what could only have been a Mind Trick.
The floating orb of flame dies out as a cloaked figure crouches by Farrah’s head. Their robe is black, a thick rubbery material that flares out ominously in coordination with a heavy-duty, squared mask and long rubber gloves. The outfit is issued to all the Echelons. It’s what they wear to the more gruesome punishments, ones that result in them catching blood spatter. But no Echelon can cast Levitating FlameandMind Trick. No Echelon is an Allwitch.
When she lifts her mask and reveals herself to me, I realize what she’s wearing doesn’t have as much to do with blood spatter as it does with impersonating someone. Someone Farrah would be more than willing to take orders from.
I haven’t seen Ash since May, but I get regular updates from her jailbroken transmitter. I know she’s been on the mainland. She’s my Scrier.
Her fingertips probe Farrah’s scalp. “You need to go,” Ash says in a hurry. “Cackrin’s coven is looking for you, and I don’t know how else to describe what I just saw except you were a total disaster. You need to leave before you get yourself killed.”
Her bluntness stings, but I deserve it. My chest hurts. My legs are weak. Would I have gone through with the punch if Ash didn’t intervene? I don’t know. Right now, I don’t even know why I raised my fist. If it’s the place I’m in, what Farrah did to Ember, the excuse I told myself about why I had to get violent, Jaxan’s voice telling me I’m an embarrassment, laughing at my weakness, or if it’s me. Brutal. Selfish.
“She knows,” I say, stepping away from Farrah. “Farrah knows we’re Counterparts. I can’t leave yet.”
Ash doesn’t look up at me as she works on Farrah. Mental magic, it looks like, though she could be Healing — shouldbe, considering the blood pooling under Farrah’s head. “Farrah figured it out last night,” Ash says matter-of-factly. “It’s why I was following her. I’ve got it covered.”
“Let me help,” I say, not that Ash needs it. Ash knows every spell I do. Ash holds her own in combat.
“No offense, but no. You hesitated. You were sloppy. You’re a hazard to me. And if Cackrin finds you tonight, you won’t win.” The look she shoots me says she’s seen it in a Vision. “I don’t have time to get in the middle of it. You want to help? Then, go.”
I grab my bag and set Farrah’s lantern by Ash. There’s more I want to ask her, like what she knows about what Jaxan’s planning, but there’s an edge to her voice, her hands are flying across Farrah’s scalp like she can’t get out of here fast enough, and she was telling the truth about me being a hazard tonight. So I’ll get out of her way and let her handle it. It’s what I would want in her position.
“Lee?” Ash says after my back’s turned. “Don’t tell Ember. She still can’t know I’m on the mainland.”
I nod.
“And,” she adds, eyeing me with disappointment. “You need to let her go.” She gestures at Farrah’s body lying on the cold ground. “Ember’s so much better than this.”
“I know,” I say.I know she is.
I sulk back to the academy and cast an Illusion on my hand before messaging Ember to come to my room. It’s time she remembers the man who stabbed her with a sedative, and time for me to give up dreaming of a world where she’s laughing contentedly in my arms.
* * *
