“You can either die and cross over—come back to the beyond with your parents and I… or you can bind your eternal soul to Cian and become a phantom yourself. Either way you’ll be some form of dead, and either way, it is irreversible.”
Shock hits me like a wave and I look down at my cup of tea. I can feel my face heat with the weight of my indecision. It should be an easy choice. But… I’d always held out hope that I’d be reunited with my family in the afterlife. To consider giving that up is terrifying. Do I want to live forever? I stare into my teacup watching blankly as a tear breaks the surface and ripples the dark liquid.
I glance up at Cian from under my lashes but his face is still unreadable. I can see the tension in the set of his shoulders and the white of his knuckles. He’s clearly trying very hard not to influence my decision, and I love him for it.
“Cian…” My voice cracks and his head whips up, almost as if he had been desperate to look, but was waiting for permission. I lift my own head, meeting his stormy green eyes. I watch with fascination as his throat works and his jaw clenches and unclenches with all the emotion he’s trying to keep in check, for me. I can feel the aching heat of his stare as his eyes travel over my face—his yearning so palpable that it sends a tingle down my spine. His brows twitch with the effort to stay neutral, but the glassy sheen of his eyes can’t be hidden. A part of me wants him to snap and demand that I choose him. But a bigger part of me is soul achingly grateful that he doesn’t—that he refuses to, despitehow clearly he wants me. Because he knows that this is the only choice that I’ve ever been able to make myself.
My chest seizes at that thought and my throat clogs up with emotion.You love him, you melodramatic idiot! So why is this so fucking hard? I blink twice and look down at the table, the weight of Cian’s eyes still heavy on my face. I can hear his quick, shuddering intake of breath and an ache settles in my heart at the thought of him being stuck in a perpetual state of being… alone. I don’t want to walk away from my parents, my gran, but Ican’twalk away from Cian. A weight lifts from my chest at this epiphany, but that same weight sits firmly on my shoulders as I look up at my parents.
My dad smiles, and it’s such a genuine smile that it makes my poor, tired heart ache with fondness. He shakes his head. “You don’t belong with us, Trissy.”
Mom sniffs but nods in agreement. “Everything we all did, we did it to give you,” her wet eyes dart between Cian and I, “a real chance at happiness. Tolive. You’ve been so sheltered… so afraid to live. Maybe… maybe in death, you can finally thrive.” Her eyes dart back to Cian and she gives me a watery smile.
I let out a sob as tears slide down my face. My heart is so full of love that it’s near to bursting, butfuck—it hurts! I meet Cian’s eyes again and the breath shudders out of me. His neck and ears are flushed, and his mouth is just slightly curved down at the corner. His chest rises as he takes a breath and opens his mouth, only to quickly clamp it shut. I watch as his jaw works and his twitching brow finally quirks with emotion he can’t hold back. I smile at him reassuringly and watch as he lets out a shaky breath.
“I love you.” The declaration comes out a whisper, but the intent behind my words is firm. I’ve made my choice.
Cian’s eyes widen in shock and he chokes, “I—I love you. Sofuckingmuch.”
I glance back at Gran and smile. “Thank you. I think…I know, I’d like to go home now. With Cian.”
He grabs one of my hands from across the table and holds it tight, tears filling his haunting green eyes and making them brighter.
Gran nods swiftly. “Good, let’s get on with it then. The tea’s getting cold.” Her voice wobbles slightly and her rosy cheeks look suspiciously wet, but she smiles brightly as she looks around the table—at the people she sacrificed everything for. The fruits of her labor from her favor with fate.
Chapter twenty-seven
Where's the Scythe?
Cian
My head is pounding and my chest feels tight. I can feel the wet tracks on my cheeks and a breeze ruffling my hair. I try to open my eyes, but they flutter stubbornly as my body struggles to get in line with my befuddled mind. What the fuck happened to me? Where is…
“Trissa!” My eyes fly open and I pull in a gasping breath as I push upright and fight against the spinning feeling that follows me.
“Aboutfuckingtime, sleeping beauty! Who fuckingFAINTSin the middle of an emergency, Cian? Do you haveanyidea—I might have actually pissed my pants. Either that or it’s Trissa’s… Trissa’s…” Seth chokes on his words and draws in a quick, panicked breath.
“I—I didn’t faint, I was with…” My head finally catches up to what’s happening around me as my eyes widen with dread.No.“Trissa!” I can feel my heart stop beating in my chest at the sight of Trissa,my Trissa,lying bloody and unresponsive in Seth’s lap. “What the fuck is going on Seth? Why is she—is she?”My heart lurches and starts racing painfully as panic floods my veins.
“Cian—I…”
I can feel Seth’s concerned stare, but I refuse to meet his eyes. I lean forward and grab Trissa into my arms, carefully cradling her head and pressing kisses into her hair, her quickly cooling skin sending goosebumps over my own. FUCK! Was it a dream? Did I fucking faint and dream it all up while Trissa was… No. My head shakes and I hold onto her tighter as I feel my mind starting to fray. No.NO!It was real. It was… it was real. It was…
“Cian, love, you need to let me go.” Trissa’s voice is gentle, with an otherworldly ring to it that’s not quite right.
A sob escapes my throat and I whine, shaking my head frantically. I’m going fucking crazy. I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of Seth’s indrawn breath.
“Fucking hell! You owe me new pants, six hugs, and at least three fucking pizza parties for the sheer amount ofstressyou’ve put me through tonight.”
Trissa laughs and I pause. If Seth is talking to her—that means… I lean back and look down at her lifeless face and shudder. What the fuck is… wait. My eyes are drawn to a flicker of movement and I gasp. There’s a thin, glowing blue thread coming from Trissa’s chest. I follow the line of it up and away from her body to—relief crashes down on me so viscerally that I growl. There, connected to the soul thread coming from Trissa’s body, is a perfect duplicate of Trissa, looking at me with so much tenderness that my breath catches.
Her eyes sparkle as she answers Seth, never taking her eyes off me. “Deal.”
“Trissa…You’re real? You… chose me?” My throat closes up as a tear trickles down my cheek. I’m too emotionally raw to even give a shit or wipe it away.
She smiles at me and nods.
“Alright, well, let’s get the show on the road, yeah? We’ve got… eh—maybe ten minutes until the Guild shows up. If we’re lucky.” With a tremendous amount of effort, I break eye contact with Trissa’s soul-form and glance at Seth. My eyes bulge at the sight of the overly ornate scissors in his hands as Trissa frowns.
