I bite my lip, trying not to get ahead of myself, “I… are you sure? I mean, I don’t know exactly… Seth could probably help us do it. But he’s…” I deflate as I remember what, exactly, Seth is doing—and why.Godsdamnit all.“We can’t do it. Not yet.”
Trissa pulls away from me and studies my face, “Why not?”
I sigh, feeling like a fucking idiot for not thinking of it sooner, “It’s not safe. The ritual… it’s blood magic.”
“So?” Trissa’s brow quirks.
“Seth looked up your parents through his Reaper database… it’s basically like a death catalog…”
Trissa puts a hand on my chest to steady herself as she climbs off my lap and sits next to me on the bed, pulling the sheets up around herself, as if to protect her from whatever pain might come from my next words. She drops her hand from my chest and tentatively wraps her fingers around my own to keep a source of contact. I wince, wishing I could keep it from her until I knew more, but knowing doing so would be wrong.
“Okay.” Her voice is shaky but she nods and gives me a little encouraging smile, “What did he find?”
“Their death was unsanctioned… meaning it wasn’t naturally their time.”
Her eyes take on a dull sheen and her shoulders hunch inward.
“Also, there was a blood debt tied to each of them. Meaning they used blood magic at one point or another.” I watch her closely, praying I’m not adding too much extra weight to her already sagging shoulders.
“I don’t understand what it all means, Cian. How does that connect to me not being able to make youreal?”
Pain pierces my chest and I rear back, as if struck.
“No! Oh, gods—no, baby, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. Please…” Trissa reaches out a hand to my cheek and I lean into it. A crease forms between her brows as she continues, “I just meant—”
I shake my head, my knee-jerk reaction already fading into the background, “It’s okay, love. I know what you mean.” She gives me a pretty little smile and I return it quickly before trying again, “The witch who bound me vanished after using blood magic. Your parents did… what they did, and they also used blood magic. Seth and I are worried that the local coven is targeting blood magic users in some way. I can’t risk it with you. I won’t. Not until we have some more information.”
“Okay. That… makes sense.” She frowns. “But we can’t just sit around here and do nothing.”
Trissa bites her lip and tilts her head, thinking. She looks so fucking adorable. I wish I had known her while I was living. I wonder what sort of life we could have had together if I wasn’t… well, already dead, when we met. My heart sinks a little at the reminder that I’ll never be able to give her children.
A cold panic sweeps through me at the thought, “Do you want children?”
Trissa’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open to form an ‘O’ as she sputters, “Uhmm, I… I don’t know. I mean, yes, I do. I do know. Which is to say, no. I—I know that I don’t. Holy fuck that was convoluted.” She winces, her cheeks flushed with nerves. “No. I don’t want them—kids, that is. I’m sorry. Do… you? Can you?” Horror washes over her features and she whispers, “Oh my gods,can you? We haven’t used anything—”
“Relax, love! No. I can’t have children. Dead—remember?” Relief washes over her features and she nods. “I never really had any preference either way when I was living, and I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it wouldn’t ever be a thing for me. It just popped into my head and I started to worry that maybe I wouldn’t be—enough, for you.” I can feel my cheeks burning with the heat of a blush but I clear my throat and smile, glad to have that conversation behind us.
Trissa smiles back at me and then jumps up, her breasts slapping against her skin as she does. “Oh, I know! The estate sent a bunch of boxes full of my parents stuff over when I moved in. It’s been in storage since the… accident.” She hesitates, “Maybe… maybe something in them will have some kind of a clue?”
I sit up straighter, smiling at my beautiful, smart, perfect woman. “That’s absolutely brilliant, my love.”
She beams at me before her eyes sink down to my cock, still covered in our releases. Her lips purse playfully and she laughs, “But first, maybe a shower?”
I shrug mischievously and reply, “Oh, I don’t know. Might keep away the werewolves. Scents and all that.”
Her eyes go wide and she gasps, “Wait—what? Werewolves arereal?”
I laugh and shake my head, “I’m not the only thing that goes bump in the night, love. Just the only one who gets to do it with you.”
A feral smile splits her lips and my heart swells with joy.
Chapter twenty-one
Tethered to the Past
Trissa
My chest heaves with another heavy sigh, probably the millionth one in the past couple hours. I can’t really complain, because I’m the one who insisted that we link pinky fingers, although admittedly I hadn’t given much thought to the logistics of trying to unpack boxes one-handed. As frustrating as it is, I still can’t bring myself to suggest severing the small point of contact. Partly because Cian won’t be able to physically help me with the search if I’m not touching him—and he would know better than me what types of things we’re looking for, considering he’s known real witches. I, on the other hand, spent two semesters in high school alternating between wanting tobeNancy Downs and wanting to bewithher… which does not exactly help me in this situation.
