It was a small fortune, she thought, even for all its meager comfort. It was enough to start a new life in a new city, yet again. It was enough to get Freddy to the tables to double their stake … or to lose it entirely.
He had done both. Often.
She started to shovel it back into the box, her fingers falling through gems and chains of cold metal. She dropped a necklace and it caught. It caught on her belly like a halo for the child inside.
Claire Hightower broke.
She had done this enough times now. She knew how to book passage, how to fence pretty things. She knew how to run and how to evade now. She knew how to hold the last of the line. She knew that every time they did it, every time they successfully landed in safety, her life got a little bit worse.
Her life was one thing, she thought, placing her hand over that round of pearls. The baby’s was something else entirely.
She looked back over her shoulder at Freddy, at the wrinkle in his brow, at the clenching of his hands, even in sleep. She could smell the brandy in the air, even if only faintly. She could see the glint of those damned dice on the bedside table.
Staying would not save Freddy. These jewels would not save him. But they might save her. They might take her home again.
Home? Could she ever go back there? Her parents had not written. Her sister had not either. She had betrayed them all, and if she tried to crawl home, would they not send her directly back? Would they not tell her to lie in the bed she had made?
She squeezed her eyes shut, tears pooling just under her lids, escaping in hot, thin lines down her cheeks.
She couldn’t go home. No, not yet, she couldn’t. She could go back to London, though. Surely there was someone in London … someone who would protect her, who could hide her, who could help her figure it all out.
Surely? She had to try.
Claire Hightower never said goodbye.
She stole into the night with the clothes on her back, the jewels in her pockets, and fear in her heart. She ran toward a future she could not define. She left her beloved to the mercy of his vices, oblivious in the embrace of sleep.
She abandoned her heart. She interrupted her story.
But she never stopped being in love.
PART I
CROOKED NOOK
CHAPTER 1
Five Years Later
“I thinkI’ve made a gigantic mistake,” Claire Hightower said, frowning at the lawn beneath her window, which just now housed three carriages, formed into a half-circle. “I want to take it back.”
“You can’t take it back,” her sister replied from the bed, where she’d flopped fully into repose the instant she’d arrived an hour earlier. “You know that.”
“I can never take it back, can I? Not anything,” Claire said waspishly, knowing she was being childish. “I guess he’s proof positive of that.”
“I guess he is,” Millie agreed with a little half-smile. “But, for what it’s worth, none of us thought it was a mistake when you lifted the ban, and we don’t think it’s a mistake now. This is his mother’s wedding, Claire. It’s important.”
She sighed, flicking at the curtains and turning back to face the other woman. She felt her heart in her gums, beating againsteach individual tooth in her mouth. Every thump sounded like his name. “I know that. Obviously, I do. That’s not him down there, anyhow. Not yet.”
“You sound almost disappointed,” Millie said mildly with a raise of her dark brows.
“Well, I’m not!” Claire shot back, coloring.
She wasn’t, was she?
She frowned.
“This is a nightmare.”
