I see the moment he realizes the irony behind his words, because he never stuck around to talk. Swearing under his breath, he grips the roots of his hair.
I almost take a step forward to stop him from hurting himself. I’m not worth hurting over.
“You don’t get it, do you?” I blink rapidly, trying to see past the thick layer of tears.
“I really wish I could read your mind, but I can’t, Lily. You have to help me out here,” he blabbers, throwing his hands in the air, frustrated.
Hugging my torso, I hold myself up when the ground is really calling my name. “Why are we suddenly fooling each other that anything could happen romantically? Not only do we live completely different lives, but there is too much history that’s already so ugly between us. As soon as this tour is over, are you going to disappear? How can I reopen my heart to trust you when I’m scared?”
“I can’t force you to trust me.” Rubbing his chest like it’s aching, he shrugs, defeated. “But I’ve spoken only the truth and not done anything to break your trust since we’ve rekindled. That has to mean something.”
“I care about you so much, Elijah,” I admit, forcing the words out of my mouth, hoping they sound strong. “But since you’ve come back into my life, I feel like a teenager again. I’m so insecure. I have millions of people watching when I don’t even want to see my reflection in the mirror sometimes. I hate that I care what the world says about me. They even know my name now! Tell me how they could have gotten that information.”
“If I knew, don’t you think I would have stopped it before it got out?” He doesn’t bother holding back the frustration in his voice. Mouth twisting down in disappointment, he turns his back to me and looks out at the world moving fast around us, but in here, it feels like it’s put in rewind.
“It’s killing me, trying to make you trust me.”
His confession is like a stab wound to my chest, and instead of it being stitched back up, my blood is leaking between my fingers as I attempt to cover the gash with my hand.
“Okay.” Taking a seat in the lounge, he eyes me worriedly. “Let’s start from the beginning.”
THIRTY-THREE
ELIJAH
PAST
“It’s giant. Did you see it?” Amelia dances in the spot, glowing from the inside out, as she glances out the car window.
“I’m going to get lost in that place!” Leonidas kicks his feet onto the dashboard.
Mom tsks him and scolds him to sit properly. Scared of our Greek mother, he sits weirdly straight in his seat—looking uncomfortable, to say the least.
“The pool looks amazing. That’s where you’ll find me. Lounging away in the sun, eating watermelon,” I say, thinking back to our new home we just took a tour of.
Our record label helped us find it. When I say “helped,” I mean they didn’t take no for an answer and declared that our new home.
“Don’t forget where you come from. We are humble, boys and girl.” Mom’s motherly look in the rearview mirror causes my body to shiver.
She is one scary lady when she wants to be.
“What’s the next step, Mom?” Amelia asks from next to me in the backseat as Mom drives us to the studio for our meeting.
“The record label is going to give us the contract, but before you sign it, a lawyer will do a read-through.”
The thought of my life before fame hits me out of nowhere. Will the things that I hope to stay the same change? Will Lily see me differently when she hears one of our songs playing on the radio? Or will she start resenting me when my time is limited and taken up from work?
“What about Lily?” I whisper to my sister.
She smiles, knowing my best friend is a touchy subject. “What about her, Eli?”
“We’re moving. That means I have to leave her behind. That was never part of our plan.”
“She’ll understand,” she attempts to reassure me, but her hand on my fist makes me feel claustrophobic. “It’s not like you’re never going to see her after we move. It’s not goodbye.”
My mouth goes dry.
“She’s going to be so upset with me,” I rant, getting louder and louder with each word. “She’s going to think I’m leaving her behind because fame is more important to me than her.”
