“I just—” I stammer. My mouth opens, but no words come out.
How do I tell them there’s a new weight on my chest that wasn’t there twenty-four hours ago? That after seeing Lily, loneliness is another layer on my bones. How I can’t keep anything down because my anxiety level could reach the top of the CN Tower. Not to mention how I’m throwing up all my anxiety medication and I can only take one a day.
Keeping my eyes down and fidgeting with the sleeve of my hoodie, I sigh. ‘“I saw her.”
I don’t even have to say her name. Amelia’s mouth drops open.
“Saw who?” Trinity glances at each of us, confused.
I swallow tightly. “Lily.”
Her eyes widen in realization.
Everyone knows what she meant to me. She was the center of my universe, and I was just existing around her. Somehow, she always knew what I was thinking by just the look on my face. The innocent adoration that I held in my heart for her, growing up, then turned into want and need. A desire so deep in my bones that it often made my whole body ache.
Drugs wish they could hold as much power as she does.
“When did this happen?” Leonidas sits forward in his seat, giving me his full attention.
“Last night, I saw a car parked in the driveway.” Shaking my head, I curse myself for not thinking before acting. “For some reason, I didn’t anticipate the car belonging to her … but I should have known better. That was her dream car.”
Growing up, I dreamed of owning a McLaren, and she would gush about owning a red Mini Cooper.
Guess both our goals were achieved.
Leonidas breaks the silence after a few minutes. “So, what? You just went and knocked on the door?”
Smooshing my lips together, I wince. “Yeah, basically.”
Sounds pretty bad when he puts it like that …
He throws his head back and groans, “Dude, you have no game.”
My spine straightens. “I was only trying to see if she still lived there.”
“Hey, it’s fine.” Amelia grabs and squeezes my hand. “She was a big part of your past; it’s only normal to be curious.”
Our conversation yesterday did kill me, yet I would be lying if I said I would have acted differently if our positions hadbeen swapped. I wouldn’t want to look or talk to me either. The moment our car had driven away that day, I had known I would break her heart. That all the trust she had in me would disappear.
“How did it go? Did she hear you out?” I can see the worry in Trinity’s eyes.
“Nope,” I say, popping theP. I tap my knuckles on the counter as a cruel laugh releases out of me. “She wanted nothing to do with me, and I don’t blame her.”
Leonidas tsks. “She’ll hear you out.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I told her when she’s ready to talk, I’m here. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself,” I say in a hoarse whisper.
TEN
ELIJAH
“I have never worked with such uncooperative people. I don’t understand. They are living the dream life, making millions upon millions a year, but they sure seem to act like ungrateful children.”
Fay reads aloud, our new manager, slams the laptop shut and pinches the bridge of her nose. “You guys are saints. How did you put up with them for so long?”
I’ve lost count how many emergency meetings have been called all because of these empty statements.
Leonidas’s jaw clenches. “We had no other choice.”
