When he manspreads beside Stella and me, my thighs clench at the thought of jumping onto his awaiting lap.
Why does he look so sexy in all states? I flinch when I see my reflection when I’m tired.
“Do you understand how big of a deal this show is?” she deadpans, standing at the door with her arms crossed.
Does she not see how he can barely keep his eyes open?
“He’ll have a quick catnap,” I pipe in for him, watching the way his eyes flutter shut. “How about you go find Levi? He must be outside,” I say to Stella.
She’s been missing her big brother a lot lately. I’ve noticed the more she grows, the more separation anxiety starts to build within her sweet soul.
Jumping off my lap and almost bumping into Fay’s legs, she runs out the back door with a squeal. When Fay realizes Elijah’s going to put himself first, she huffs and follows Stella.
He must sense she’s gone because one of his eyes pops open. “Is she gone?”
“The coast is clear,” I muse, falling into his lap and snuggling into his torso.
I fiddle with the small pieces of hair peeking out from the front of his backward baseball hat, and he clasps my hand and kisses the tips of my fingers.
“Can you lie down with me for a bit?” His voice is barely above a whisper. “I could use some cuddles.”
I swear this guy is a gift from the man above. Jumping up like Stella, he follows me to the bedroom we’re sharing with Leonidas and Trinity. The two twin beds sit side by side, separated by a side table; it isn’t ideal for all four of us. It just gives Elijah and me an excuse to cuddle extremely close—you won’t find me complaining about that.
Last night, my body refused to fall asleep, and I’m guessing the couple beside us experienced the same problem. You know those nights when you weren’t asleep and you had to pretend you were sleeping when your parents checked up on you? But it felt like it was impossible to stay still suddenly? That was me last night because when the bed only a foot away from us started creaking, I almost lost my mind.
The two for sure thought they were being quiet, but when breathy moans blessed my ears, I had to shove my entire face into the crook of Elijah’s neck.
Worst night ever.
Pushing back the covers, Elijah’s large body takes up most of the bed. He pins me to his chest, and his soft scent spreads warmth through my body. With the blinds pulled closed, the door locked, and the house empty, nerves suddenly take hold of my body and steer the ship.
“Can I tell you something?” He swallows hard.
“Of course. You don’t have to ask to talk to me.” Resting my face on his biceps, I play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“This show is really fucking up my head. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the most important one or because this is my second home, but I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack every moment.”
“Have you told anyone?”
His head shakes. “Just you. I don’t want to seem weak.”
Fuck that and the world’s standards that say men are weak when they show emotions.
“You are human,” I say strongly, hoping my words get through to him. “We all feel things that make us uniquely different. What I love about you is, I don’t have to guess what you’re feeling. That isn’t a weakness; that’s a strength.”
“I think for this upcoming week, I should take my medication again. That way, I don’t fuck up this concert.” He bites his lip, looking so intensely at me that it almost makes me cry.
“Whatever you feel is right I think is the best decision.” I peck his lips.
He stares at me in wonder, and I don’t know what to do. I watch, and he runs one hand up slowly from my waist to my shoulder. When his hand rests on my neck, my breath hitches, and my eyes fall closed.
“Are you nervous?” he teases quietly, all forms of stress temporarily gone.
I look him in the eye as he traces my jawline. “No. I’m just so happy. I haven’t felt this safe in a while.”
He smiles.
He pulls my face in and plants a passionate kiss on my mouth before sucking in my lips gently. I lose track of time as I melt under his touch, his caresses. Very softly, with an almost-not-there touch, he unzips my red summer dress, peeling it off and kicking it off the bed. Then he undresses until he’s only in his black briefs.
