The pain turns into panic as he climbs on top of me. Prying my mouth open with his fingers, he shoves it down my mouth. Almost choking me to death. I gasp out, trying to breathe around the food clogged in my throat, just as I hear my saviors rush into the room. Gripping my throat with both my hands, I gasp out, looking at my father with betrayal painted on my face.
This is the way I’ll die. I’m going to choke to death, right on this couch, with Dad straddling me. Strangling me.
I can’t breathe, and I can’t see through the thick tears in my eyes.
Feeling his body being pulled off of mine, I fall to the floor as I still grip my throat. Muscular arms come around my stomach, pulling me against a chest. Elijah pumps frantically as he does the Heimlich maneuver. As I see stars in my eyes, the only things I can hear are yells and grunts of madness.
Coughing the piece of chicken up, I hiss in a breath like it’s my first time breathing as I fall back into his chest.
“I got you. I got you,” Elijah whispers into my ear repeatedly.
My entire body feels numb. I can’t believe that just happened.
I see Leonidas straddling Dad while his fists deliver deadly punches to his body until he loses consciousness.
A loud gasp of terror leaves my mouth as I flinch up on my bed.
Gripping my sweaty hair in my hands, I relive the nightmare I have every night. The stabbing pain in my heart increases, and the shivers in my body grow stronger. My chest squeezes, as if someone were ripping my heart out, as if they were laughing in my face and squeezing the life out of me.
Sweat lingers on my body, making me feel sticky and hot. I brush my hair out of my face. I grip my bedsheets in a panic, trying to take control of my thoughts. Taking in deep gulps of air, I stare into the darkness of my room, shoving my sheets off my body because I feel like they weigh a million pounds. Sitting on my knees, I focus on my breaths.
God, please stop.
This isn’t funny.
I. Can’t. Take. This. Anymore.
The weight of this is too much. Pushing off my bed, I run to the bathroom while bile rises up my throat. The toilet seat cover slams as I open it and let out everything in my stomach. Heaving through the sobs, I tremble as pain aches in my stomach. My throat feels raw and dry, and the bitter taste of my puke only makes me gag more.
I slide down onto my butt. The cool tiles feel good against my clammy, hot skin.
“My love,” I hear rushed out behind me. The sweet voice belongs to my mother. Gathering my hair in her hand, she rubs my back with the other.
“Elijah, go get her some water,” she calls out to my brother, who’s standing at the door.
Hearing his footsteps rush down the stairs, my mom speaks softly. “When did this start again, Amelia? I thought you were doing better. You told me you were doing better.”
“I am. I just had a bad dream,” I rasp out, my mouth feeling dry.
I thought I was being quiet, but Mom always seems to know when something’s wrong. Wiping my mouth with a paper towel, I take the glass that Elijah hands to me with shaky hands. Bringing it to my mouth, I take slow sips, careful not to upset my stomach by downing the entire glass.
“Honey, don’t be ashamed about this,” Mom says, pushing my hair out of my face. “I’m your mother. I’m here to help you.”
“I know you are, Mom,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“When I see you like this, I feel like I’m failing.” Her voice grows weak as she sits in front of me.
Elijah takes a seat beside her. Placing his hand on my foot, he pulls it onto his lap and massages it.
“Mom, this isn’t your fault—”
“I should be able to help,” she interrupts. “You’re my only daughter. I love you to death. I don’t want you in pain.”
My chest hurts. Guilt eats me alive because I know I’m causing people stress.
Moving to sit between the two, I place my head on her shoulder. Elijah’s arm comes around us as we sit in silence.
“We’re the Drakos family. We can get through this. I know we can.” My brother says. “It’s just going to take more time than we hoped it would.”
