I feel drained here, working so they’re only satisfied, but what happens when I’m not and I feel empty? What will be left for the fans to see? Nothing.
With Trinity, I felt pure happiness. My smiles weren’t forced, and I laughed. Since I’ve been here, I’ve done nothing but frown, to the point where Amelia warns me about wrinkles. I always snark back and tell her she needs to worry about herself.
Harsh but true. I see the way she struggles every day to put food in her stomach. Amelia’s eating disorder is not something she likes to talk about. Scratch that. She hates when people talk about it. It’s a secret that’s literally eating her alive. I hate watching her cry over her food. No matter how much I tell her she’s beautiful, nothing gets through her thick brain.
She’s built a wall higher than the Great Wall of China, and the scary part is, no one even knows it.
Elijah, Mom, and I try to help her overcome her struggles as much as we can, but it gets harder every time we hear her throwing up in the bathroom after she gets something in her stomach. The harder we push, the harder she pulls away from us.
This just proves how life down here is suffocating.
Not to mention, Elijah’s depressed out here. He doesn’t smile or joke anymore. Sadness has taken over him.
The funny part is, we’re the best actors out there. Society suspects nothing. They don’t see our forced smiles. I beg that one person notices, but I’m disappointed every time.
People are truly blinded by Hollywood's lights.
The only good thing I can say right now is that we still have our Instagram page up and running. They tried to take it down, but that’s when Mom got involved. She gave them her mother-bear eyes. They backed off after that, but they didn’t look happy about it, like I care.
Screw them and their perfect expectations.
I’ll rock their world until they won’t be able to hold on. I’ll make them realize who’s really in charge here, and that’s us. Without X3, what do they have left? An empty stadium. If they piss me off further, they’ll have a rude awakening.
“Good job on that radio interview!” Justin, my shitty agent, exclaims from where he sits in the limo.
He always has that damn clipboard in his hands. The number of times I’ve had to stop myself from grabbing it and throwing it across the room is embarrassing.
“You have a talk show tomorrow morning. I want you guys to read the list of questions to prepare yourselves,” he says while flipping through papers with a lot of shit written down. “Then, you have to go to the studio to record. After that, you have your vocal lessons.”
“What’s after that?” I hum in false amusement, and Amelia jabs me in the ribs with her bony elbow. “Want me to walk across the entire country for you, like Terry Fox?”
He raises an eyebrow. “That would make a wonderful story. Sadly, your schedule is jam-packed right now, but I’ll definitely add that into my notes.”
I watch as he scribbles the idea down with a smile. Can these people not understand sarcasm? Shit, if my withdrawal from pills doesn’t drive me insane … he will. Justin’s so naive that it makes me laugh. If I said I wanted to get tattoos on my face because fans would like it, he would drive me himself to get it done.
A curse leaves my mouth in a breathy whisper as I hold back from punching him in the face. I focus my eyes on the world outside of us. I watch as people hurry to work, school, or somewhere else that us humans waste our lives on.
“You guys get half the day off.” He glances at my mom with a nasty look. “A request from your very persistent mother. At six o’clock, you have to work with the team. They’ll tell you all the tour dates and what you should expect.” His black pen scribbles on the paper like there’s no tomorrow.
A sigh leaves my body as the car pulls in front of our home that feels like anything but that. My leg bounces up and down as I wait my turn to exit the car that’s like literal hell. My family and I stride our way inside the house and don’t stop until we get away from their stares.
Elijah lets out a sigh. “How am I supposed to do this for years?”
He plops down onto the couch and pulls a pillow down on his face. When he groans into it, Mom flinches.
“God, that’s the same question I ask myself every day.” Amelia sits next to him and cuddles into his body.
I watch them from my spot. Those two have always been closer. I don’t envy their relationship because I know why Amelia feels closer to Elijah. He’s understanding and friendly. He’s a good person to talk to, and I’m the opposite. I’ve always been distant, closed off, and snarky.
Elijah is more patient with her. He’ll sit at the table for hours to help her eat. I just sit to the side and wonder how our lives got to where she can’t even eat yogurt.
One word, seven letters—society.
Society ruins everything valuable in life. It takes your happiness, and it controls you. It’s even harder when millions of people watch you. God forbid you make a mistake …
“Get some rest while you can.” Mom sighs and runs a hand down her face. “Make sure you eat. I’ll be resting in my room until you guys have to leave.”
I watch with a frown as she walks out of the kitchen.
