Not even a child would believe that he didn’t do something stupid. He looks close to death.
“Leonidas, why are you in here like this?” Emotion takes over my voice as I stare at the guy I love in front of me, so broken, small, and vulnerable. It makes me want to cry.
“Because of me. I’m in here because of me,” he mumbles.
Because of both of us, he means.
“So, you’re going to kill yourself over what happened?” My voice rises. “You’re going to do the one thing that you told me not to do—give up?” I scoff and tap his cheek softly.
“I broke your heart.”
“Nothing would break me more than losing you like this.” I grip his face harder, and his glassy eyes find my own. “You can’t just want to give up on life because of a girl like me,” I say softly down at him.
I can’t think straight, knowing he starved himself to death in here because of his guilt. I know deep down, no matter what he does, I’ll always love him.
Love is a game. Either you get broken, the other person does, or you both get lucky and get your happily ever after together.
Leonidas is my happily ever after.
* * *
I’m getting déjà vu.
I stare at Leonidas in front of me. He’s sitting on his bathroom counter, exactly where I was a couple of days ago.
I got him to come in here a couple minutes ago. He started coming back down to earth when I ran my hands through his hair.
It instantly relieved me when he told me he didn’t take any pills. He was having withdrawal problems on the floor. He was struggling and said I came in at just the right time before he took any.
Thank God.
Putting a washcloth under cold water, I squeeze it. Standing in between his legs, I bring it up to his face. I wipe the sweat off his skin. Running the cloth over his skin makes me want to sigh. What a joke we are. Both living, but hardly.
“Why are you doing this?” his deep voice mumbles.
I meet his intense eyes and shrug. “Because no matter how much I tried to convince myself to not love you, it didn’t work.”
“You still love me?” he remarks back. “After I didn’t tell you who I am?”
Throwing the cloth in the sink, I place my hands on his thighs. “People call me crazy for a reason.”
His lips turn up slightly. “You are crazy for loving me.”
“I can say the same to you,” I point out to him, and he frowns. “I messed up in my own way, said things I shouldn’t have said and didn’t mean, but me being here doesn’t mean I forgive you fully.”
“Shit, I wish I’d told you. I was scared, Trin,” Leonidas pleads. “It scared me—the thought of losing you. I know you probably don’t trust me, and I understand if you don’t.”
In my own silly way, I do trust him. I know his intentions were good, but why keep that a secret in the first place?
“What makes me angry is the fact that you didn’t trust me,” I say strongly. “I can’t believe you thought I would love you for fame and money.” I stop when my voice gives away my hurt within. “That’s what hurts most because I thought you trusted me.”
“I do trust you.” He holds my cheeks in the palms of his hands. “I didn’t trust myself.”
What does he mean? This guy spins my head in circles.
He sees the confusion on my face and explains, “I didn’t trust that I was lovable and all that shit.”
“You’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met in my life,” I joke, making him chuckle.
