Me too, Amelia. Me too.
Just talking about me and Leonidas not working out sends a painful shock to my heart. I can’t imagine my life without him. The thought terrifies me.
I change the topic as silence fills the room. “Do you dye your hair? I’ve been meaning to ask since your brothers and mom have brown hair,” I point out, looking at her blonde hair.
“Do you like it?” she asks while twirling a piece around her finger. She glances down at her finger, and I see her frown. “I dyed it for a change before we got here. I’m not sure how I like it though.”
I have to admit, Amelia looks beautiful with her blonde hair, but I know if she goes back to her natural brown hair, it will make her facial features stand out even more.
“I love your hair, Amelia. Each time I see you, you look amazing. But it only matters if you like your hair. Who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?” I say sternly, trying to get the insecurity out of her eyes.
“Thank you, Trinity. You’re right. Sometimes, it’s just harder to train your mind to not give a fuck what people around you think.”
Once you let society in, it kills you. It claws its nails into you unexpectedly until you bleed out. All you’re going to be left with is the memory of who you used to be.
Fighting those feelings will feel like a sucker punch to the gut at first, yet with a little time, the urge to constantly bully yourself will dim.
“Everything with practice gets easier,” I say, picking at a loose thread on my shirt.
Amelia and I both take a peek at the window when we hear screams. I let out a booming laugh when I find Elijah on Leonidas’s back. The glass window prevents us from hearing properly. But Leonidas doesn’t look happy as he yells over his shoulder at Elijah.
“They’re crazy.” I scrunch my nose, loving the energy they bring.
“Amen to that. The number of vases they’ve broken …” She shivers at the thought.
As I cast my gaze away from my boyfriend and his brother, I see something at the back of Amelia’s ear that I haven’t noticed before.
A delicate, small black tattoo that saysX3.
TWENTY-NINE
LEO
Iwalk into Trinity’s kitchen, all sweaty due to my brother jumping on my back like the crazy fucker he is. Panic takes over my body, as I walk into Trinity questioning Amelia about the tattoo we all have.
A tattoo that saysX3. Our stupid fucking band name.
Shock fills Amelia’s eyes as she tenses. She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out other than a stammer.
Amelia and Elijah have wanted to tell her about us. I’ve heard their arguments many times, but I can’t seem to find it in me to tell her. At least, not yet. She’s falling in love with who I am. What if that all changes when she finds out my identity? I can’t have her slip between my fingers when I just got her, when I’ve just felt my heart lighten with happiness.
“I didn’t know you had a tattoo. What’s the meaning behind it, if you don’t mind me asking? I just love learning people’s stories through art,” Trinity asks, smiling softly while keeping her gaze on the tattoo.
My sister looks between me and her with a complicated battle in her eyes.
Please lie for me.
Just once more, so I can continue to be happy with the only girl who’s ever liked me for me.
Please, I can’t lose her. I know I will.
I’m addicted to lies, like an addict depends on drugs.
“You pronounce it astimes three,” Amelia begins to explain. “It stands for us.” Amelia gestures to me and Elijah, where we stand in the doorway. Guilt is layered in her voice. But only Elijah and I would know.
It hurts that I’m keeping an enormous secret from my girlfriend, but this is the most normal I’ve felt in a long time.
Trinity’s bright smile kills me. It’s like a knife stabs me from all different directions. Her smile isn’t bringing me happiness at the moment, only a cold shiver throughout my entire body.
