“That’s not what happened, though.” Tears formed in the corners of my sister’s eyes. These were real tears. Like the mob, I knew when my sister fake-cried. This was different from her mere frustration over the emperor’s letter, too. She was trying so hard to hide it, I could tell. I wanted so badly to hug her again, but she was leaning away from me. Yzzy had a tendency to shut down when deeply upset.
I groped for something to say before hitting upon an idea. I didn’t like it, but I was desperate. Time to admit what I’d vowed to never tell her. I took a deep breath. “My ex-boyfriend stole all the money you gave me.”
Ysabel’s head shot up. “Huh?”
“He pretended he was investing it in a lumber company. He cheated on me with my best and only friend, then fled the country with her. That’s why I had to move back in with our parents.”
Ysabel’s hand clenched into a fist. “I’m going to murder him,” she said, her voice low and sincere. “What’s his name? What’s his last known location?”
“It’s fine. I’ve taken care of it. I’m not a kid any longer. I can handle my own enemies.”
Ysabel didn’t seem to hear me. “I’ll grind his body into powder and feed it to him! I’ll make him suffer and beg before he dies!” She trembled with fury. The look in her eyes had turned diamond hard. She wasn’t exaggerating.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked.
“You? Why would I be angry atyou?” Ysabel stared at me in confusion. “I suppose I’m upset that you never told me. Whydidn’tyou tell me? I would have given you more money. I never would have let you be forced to live with our abusive parents.”
“Dad is rotten to the core, sure, but Mom isn’t so bad, and after the divorce, now it’s just the two of us.”
“Mom makes you suffer with words, and I’m not sure that’s all that much better.”
I thought about the direct correlation between my mother’s constant jabs and my hatred of my body. “Point taken.”
“Mom always went after you the hardest. I think it’s because you never insulted her back, and you always forgave her.” My sister bit her lip. “I hated listening to you cry late at night. Sometimes when I was a kid, I’d make her angry on purpose so she’d go after me instead. I used to worry a lot about what would happen to you, after I … left home.”
Left. What a nice euphemism for being sold into slavery. “You shouldn’t have worried about me, Yzzy. You had it so much worse. I wish I could have stopped them from taking you away.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ysabel repeated. “I thought that Mom had successfully emotionally blackmailed you back into her clutches. I was going out of my mind because nothing I said could persuade you to leave. I would have thrown money at you in a heartbeat if it got you out of that house.”
“That’s why I couldn’t tell you.” I swallowed a lump in my throat. I was perilously close to tears. “You bought every coin that you sent me with a day of your life. How could I explain that I’d lost something so precious because I fell for a smooth-talking pretty boy? What if you had to do more healings in order to make up for the lost money? I wouldn’t have been able to live with the guilt. I already hated myself for being stupid enough to think the most handsome man in town would ever love a fat fuck like me.”
All the color drained from Ysabel’s face. “Death is too good for him. I’m going to make him suffer slowly.”
“There’s no need. After I swapped with the duchess, I had him arrested for fraud.” That was the only reason I had the confidence to have this conversation with her. I could not have lived with myself if she had to save me yet again. “He was mine to handle.”
“Good for you.” Ysabel pulled me into a hug. It felt a bit strange to have her so much smaller than my current body. She didn’t even come up to my shoulder. I had to bend down to hug her. Patting my back, she murmured, “Oh, Bora. I hate that anyone dared to make my precious baby sister feel unworthy.”
“Are you angry at me for losing your money?”
“Of course not.”
“Would you have hated me if I’d told you back when it happened?”
“Of course not!”
I hugged her closer. “Then why won’t you believe that I don’t blame you for what happened to Calum?”
“That’s different,” Ysabel muttered into my chest.
“Yeah, it’s different—you were held prisoner by an evil necromancer for years. I stupidly gave a hot asshole all my money. I practically had it coming.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“I love you, Yzzy.” I pressed my chin over the top of her head. “Please be as kind to yourself as you are to me. Please don’t blame yourself any longer. Calum would be furious if you blamed yourself. He never let anyone push around his younger siblings, not even themselves.”
Ysabel made a choked sound like a sob. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask.” I rubbed a circle onto her back.
