“Thank you. You’re so good to me.” Ysabel’s eyes welled up. She raised a hand to cover her face. “Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I’ve been crying easily ever since I became pregnant. Kaine keeps threatening everyone.” She laughed through her tears.
“You should rest.” I made a mental note to find some herbal headache tea for her. I had a particular blend that I liked.
Kaine lifted Ysabel up into his arms in a bridal carry.
“I can walk,” she grumbled, but she didn’t sound like she meant it.
“And I can carry you.” He kissed the top of her head and swept her out of the room.
“My, how romantic,” I said, pressing my hand to my heart.
“Would you like a massage, too?” Ari was looking at me again in that way that gave me butterflies.
I swallowed. “I don’t need you to take care of me, and my back doesn’t hurt.”
“What if I want to anyway?”
I couldn’t imagine saying no to that, even though I was terrified I’d somehow screw this up. “Y-yes?” It came out as a high-pitched squeak.
Smiling, Ari offered me his hand. My heart hammered a mile a minute the entire walk to my bedroom.
In my room, I lay down on my stomach. Ari placed his hands on my shoulders and massaged. I hadn’t realized how much tension had been there until he started to release it. I sighed. Normally I wasn’t fond of being touched, but I told myself that it wasn’t my body anyway. That gave me enough distance to lean back and let the sensation wash over me. I could feel my insecurities melting away. By the third circle, I was leaning into the rocking of his hands.
“Is that the right amount of pressure?” Ari asked.
I sighed. “A little harder, please.”
Ari followed the lines of tension down my back, circling my spine. As he bent over, far closer than a professional masseuse, I felt his body heat against my back. Tingles swirled in my belly.
Ari’s breath tickled my neck. Slowly, he leaned in. With agonizing gentleness, he turned my chin and lowered his head down to the pillow, our gazes locking. Our faces were so close I could taste his breath. Then he kissed me.
Chapter Nineteen
Fortunately, I didn’t have time to panic. My mind went blank. I kissed him back.
Ari moaned into my mouth. His hair slipped out of his cap, falling long and lovely around his shoulders. That slightly flustered look on his face did naughty things to me.
My heart fluttered. I rolled onto my back. Ari was on me immediately, straddling my waist and pressing kisses against my neck. “You feel so good,” he whispered, kissing his way down my throat.
“You have amazing hair,” I replied, running my fingers through it. “You’re so handsome.”
He stiffened, just slightly, but I felt it. “Is that the wrong word? Do you prefer beautiful?” I asked anxiously.
“Maybe? I think … I don’t feel like Ari right now. Not since dinner ended. I’m sorry, I should have said something.” Araceli bit her lip and twisted her hair.
“You’re saying something now,” I said encouragingly.
“Do you still want to continue?” Araceli looked away. “It’s fine if you don’t. I won’t be offended.”
“I told you that I liked every side of you, and I meant it. I’m insanely attracted to you right now.” Immediately, I worried that had been too clinical. I’d been trying to avoid another gendered term.
It won me a small smile from Araceli. “The feeling is very much mutual.” She brought her hand up to cup my face.
It wasn’tmyface. But I wasn’t going to think about that. Ever since Falael had trashed my self-esteem, I hadn’t once been able to stop theintrusive thoughts during every intimate moment. I didn’t want to mess this up. Maybe I could find power in this not being my body. The Blood Duchess was strong and confident and fearless. I could believe that someone as amazing as Araceli would want the duchess’s body. As for me? I’d rather not think about if that bothered me because I would. Not. Mess. This. Up.
“Is there anything else I should know? Anywhere you don’t want to be touched?”
“I’m fine with touching. When I’m like this I … I don’t want to have sex like a man. But touching is fair game.”
