I could never touch my skin again without remembering the way his hands defiled it. Could never wear lace without the feel of his touch. Could never look into a mirror again without seeing him behind me.
But this girl? She was shattered.
Tears burned my eyes, but I bit them back.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The Devil at the Dinner Table
Regret is a funny thing. It doesn’t come knocking like guilt or creeping like shame. It stands in the corner of the room silently, watching and waiting for you to acknowledge it.
But I couldn’t.
Every time I looked at myself, I regretted not fighting harder. I regretted not screaming louder or clawing at his face or making him bleed the way he had bled me dry. But instead, I gave in. I didn’t want him, not because the thought of his hands around my throat thrilled me, but it was for the answers I desperately craved. A bargain. My body for the truth. And yet, I had nothing to show for it but the phantom press of his fingers branding my skin.
A sharp knock on the door yanked me back to reality.
“Coming,” I mumbled, knowing it was Elena. ‘Cause knowing that pervert, he’d never knock.
“Dinner is ready, Mrs. Vitale.” Her voice was gentle, strangely, and there was something else, too; pity maybe.
I wanted to tell her I wasn’t hungry, that I couldn’t possibly stomach sitting across from him after what happened between us. But my silence wouldn’t change a thing. Zagreus would come for me himself if I refused. And I refused to give him the satisfaction.
So I did as I was told.
Dressing mechanically in another violet-ruffled dress, combing my hair, smoothing my expressions, and ensuring not a single trace of him remained on me. But I knew I would still feel raw, exposed like an open wound.
I descended the stairs slowly, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. It felt like I was at war with myself. I wanted to hide and to disappear, to fold into a forgotten letter.
But like I said, I needed answers as soon as I entered the dining room, and I found him sitting at the table. There were no candles like the ones in his office, no dim lighting meant to lull me into some false sense of intimacy. The dining room was simply elegantly set. Silver gleamed under the chandelier’s soft ambient light, and the scent of rich cuisine curled in the air, teasing my empty stomach.
I didn’t look at him.
I couldn’t.
Not after the last time we were together.
But I felt him.
His gaze followed me as I rounded the table with unsteady steps and settled on the chair opposite him. He was a man who devoured with his eyes alone, before his hands ever touched.
I sat, suddenly hyper-aware of everything around me. Even with a huge gap between us, even without looking at him, I knew he was watching me like a creep. He always did that. Observed how I acted around him, how I ate, how I behaved in general.
The steady tap of his fingers against the table sent something crawling up my spine. A slow but predatory rhythm.
I chanced a glance through my lashes.
And there he was. Zagreus Vitale. The man who broke me, and yet, he looked… pleased. Satisfied in a way that made my stomach tighten with something unnameable. His cold eyes held a strange kind of glow, something darkly dangerous. Like a sculpture gazing at his masterpiece of ruin. A poet savouring the gravity of a tragic verse. Like fire finding beauty in what it consumes.
His beauty was the kind that made fools out of saints, that lured the lost and the lonely into his den. It was a lie so sweet, so perfectly woven, that even I, broken and knowing, still ached for that trap.
I averted my eyes.
All that just made him a pervert and a serial killer.
Picking up my fork, I dug into the food without waiting or acknowledging him. To my surprise, there was red wine too. He watched me with immense interest as I poured the drink formyself and gulped it down. If I were to talk to him, I couldn’t do it sober.
He hadn't touched his food yet, and even though I was halfway done, there was no sign of Elena. It took me several deep breaths, five glasses of wine, and five mini panic attacks to push the plate away and part my lips.
