“Of course,” Otley says smoothly, his hand back on Ellis’ shoulder as he steers him towards the door. “We will keep everything under wraps until we’ve agreed on a way forward.”
“Famous last words,” Logan mutters, and I don’t have it in me to nudge him in the ribs.
CHAPTER TEN – ELLIS
Lily’s here and we have a son.
Leo.
As vibrant as June sunlight, if the pictures on Lily’s wall are anything to go by.
I wish I’d taken more notice when he blew past me on the porch like a whirlwind, but I didn’tknow. I was only inches away from my flesh and blood, and it didn’t even register.
Because I’d been too distracted by a goddamn phone call. My cell has been blowing up ever since I stormed out of Otto’s trailer, my cheeks still burning from the bullshit he’d spat in my face. I’d had a few choice things to say as well, especially because filming wrapped a week ago, and I was under no obligation to spend another second on the most isolated, intense,hyper-controlledmovie set of my career. Of course, Otto acted like I was a pampered brat having a tantrum when I said I was leaving, but he couldn’t stop me. I’ve always insisted on exit clauses in my contract in case of family emergencies. Plus, having a private jet at my disposal meant I was on my way home within a fewhours of finding out that Lily was back in our lives.
My chest still aches from how damn good it was to see her again.
Roses and tomorrows.
It’s how Lily smelled in the haze of her heat, something sweet and precious in the moment, but also the promise of so much more. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years wondering if that’s how the scent bond works, luring us in and driving us so crazy with want, we just have to claim her as our own.
But there’s been no tomorrows. Up until an hour ago, I thought she’d given us a glimpse of what our future might hold, and then snatched her scent away before it could even dry on our skin.
“Are you okay?” Tristan asks once we’re on a dusty road somewhere between the farm and our new house. Every mile we travel feels like a mistake, my chest so tight it’s hard to take a full breath. But Tristan’s lovely peppermint scent is soothing, and I look down to where he is snuggled against my side, his hazel eyes worried. “It was a lot to take in.”
“Especially since no one thought to warn me in advance.” The criticism is leveled more at Otley, who is sitting on Tristan’s other side. His hand is on our beta’s knee, and I watch him give it a reassuring squeeze. It’s enough to make me tip my head back with a sigh. “I know you didn’t plan it like this. I should’ve made more effort to tell you I was coming, but things kind of snowballed.”
Otley’s gaze locks with mine, and I can see the regret in his eyes. My packmate is ruthless in two things: business; and protecting those he loves. I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to discover the truth and not instantly share the burden of what my uncle did to us. “I only knew about the postcard,” he says quietly, but his scent sharpens with his anger. “When I found out she’d tried to reach us and that she had a son, Idropped everything to get us a base out here. I didn’t even tell Tris, because I wanted to make sure it was real.” He rubs his jaw. “And then I didn’t exactly make the best first impression.”
Tristan huffs and rolls his eyes. “He made her deliver us flowers. Like a squillion roses, after a long day working hard on the farm. When she saw him on the doorstep, she looked like she wanted to hit him with her bucket.”
I snort. “Smooth. What exactly was that meant to achieve?”
“Yellowroses,” Otley replies, a hint of color staining his high cheekbones. “They’re the flower of forgiveness.”
Tris turns and cups Otley’s face. “Really? Wow, okay. But maybe next time deliver them toher, so she knowsyou’rethe one in the wrong.”
Tris’ caress turns into a gentle slap, and Otley blinks in surprise. It’s sonotfunny, I can’t help it. A laugh gurgles out of my chest, sounding more like a sob. I’m overtired, overwhelmed, and overwrought, but underneath all that churning emotion is the simple fact:we have a son, and they were kept from me for nearly ten years.
“Fucking Crest,” I seethe, squeezing my hands into fists and dashing a tear off my cheek. “I knew he was a prick, but this is…”
“Un-fucking-forgiveable,” Tristan whispers, wiping the next tear from my cheek.
“She must think we used her for her heat and tossed her away,” I groan, pressing my palms into my eyes. “Jesus, no wonder she smelled so hurt. She musthateme.”
Because instead of roses and tomorrows, her perfume now reminds me of bruised petals and exhaustion.
“I don’t think it’s hate,” Otley says carefully, giving me another regret-filled glance. “I think she’s afraid we’ll take Leo away from her.”
“What?” That brief glimpse of my son has opened a gaping cavity in my chest, but it never occurred to me to fill it with thepieces of Lily’s broken heart. “I wouldn’t. Icouldn’thurt her like that.”
I don’t realize I’m pulling at my hair until Otley’s hand covers mine. He’s reached around our mate, and a comforting purr rattles in his chest as he squeezes my fingers. Tristan is stroking my face and kissing my neck; soft, soothing pecks where the vein is throbbing painfully in my throat. Sweat is trickling down my back, and despite the air conditioning, I feel like my clothes are about to catch fire.Is this what it feels like to have a mental breakdown?Fuck knows, but I cling to both my mates like they’re the only thing keeping me from ripping down the middle.
“Breathe, baby,” Tristan says as he strokes my sweaty cheek. “Everything will be okay. We just need to give Lily some time to get to know us.”
I nod, even though the distance growing between us is already pounding inside my skull. “It’s just… I’ve missed so much.”
Not just Leo’s baby years – and his first goddamn haircut, which pretty much flayed my heart - but I wasn’t there for Lily’s pregnancy. I cringe to think of how selfish I’d been a decade ago, blithely flitting from audition to industry party, my star already on the rise. And what had Lily been dealing with? Morning sickness? Heartburn? I only know they exist because I had a pregnant ‘wife’ in one of my films. But Lily had faced it all on her own, assuming from our silence that we wanted nothing to do with her or the baby we’d given her.
