Shaking my weary head, I sigh with relief as I turn up our gravel drive. Once I’m past the fields, I spot a warm glow coming from Logan’s garage. He’s working on his motorbike, but his head lifts as I pull to a stop by Rosie’s house. It’s forty feet to his front door, but I’ve barely dragged myself from behind the wheel when he’s pulling me into his arms. It’s a sticky night, and he’s bare-chested, the scent of bike oil, alpha sweat, and his own amber aroma swirling around me. It’s both exactly what I need and too much for my overwrought senses, and when I’m caught between a gasp and a sob, he tilts my chin up. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Logan, of course, can read my moods like a topographic map. “Just a long day,” I murmur, sinking into his embrace. But the thought of Otley turning up here, a team of fancy lawyers in tow, makes me pull back sharply. “Can you take Leo camping first thing in the morning? And maybe stay a couple of extra days?”
“Seriously?” He looks down at me, concern in his dark eyes. “If you’re already this exhausted, we can put it off. Leo’s old enough to help out more, and I can push the gym opening back a couple of weeks.”
“No!” He cocks a brow at the force of my protest, and I drop my gaze to his neck as I palm his tattoo. “It would be easier on me if I only had to focus on the farm. If you’ve got Leo, I can work longer days and just clean up after myself.”
Logan pulls a face, his thumbs trying to smooth the tension from my brow. “You’re doing too much, LeeLee. We have to get you some more help round here.”
“I will,” I promise, “but it will be easier if I can have a break from Leo for a couple of days.”
I feel a wave of nausea at the lie, and I know that Logan is confused, since I’ve rejected every offer he’s ever made to takeLeo off my hands for a night or two. Cody’s mom is always inviting him to a sleepover, but so far, I’ve resisted, insisting it’s easier for Cody to come to us. I know that I’ve been labelled a helicopter parent by the other moms, which is kind of ironic, given my paralyzing fear of heights.
And now I have more reason than ever to fear him being whisked away from me in the middle of the night…
“Please, Logan. Just go on the trip so I know he’s safely out of the way.”
Logan’s frown deepens at my choice of words, but I lean into his warmth, and he drops his face to my hair, breathing me in. I try to pat down my curls since I yanked off my bandana in the truck, but he nudges my hand out of the way. “Let me nuzzle you for a bit. A few nights is a long time to be saying goodbye to this…” He lifts his head, his pupils blown in the moonlight. “Unless you want to invite me in so we can finish what we started on your kitchen bench.”
The temptation to let him sweep me off my feet leaves me dizzy with want. How good would it be to lose myself in Logan for a few hours? To let him unleash all that intensity on me, so that I could feel safe and protected, at least until the sun comes up? But would it just be Logan in my thoughts, or would I be dragging my fears and frustration into the bed with us?
We’ve messed around a lot, but I always held back from letting him stay overnight. With Rosie and Leo in the house, it felt like crossing a line that I couldn’t unblur, as if the forty feet between our bedroom windows was any real barrier to our mutual attraction.
“When you get back,” I reply, giving him a little shove in the direction of his house. “Things will be less hectic then, and we can focus on us.”
I can tell he wants to argue, but he just nods, and I trudge up to my empty bed. My head throbs with all the things I need totake care of – and all the things I’m afraid are spiraling out of my control – but I’m too tired to do anything but crawl out of my clothes and fall facedown.
Sleep doesn’t bring any real solutions, but the next morning I’m up at dawn, taking care of Leo’s chores while he stumbles around trying to pack. I end up having to redo it while he’s in the shower, smirking at the stack of comic books and action figures he was planning to smuggle on his hike. I whittle down his stash, adding extra socks and underwear, then carry his bag downstairs to get breakfast on the table. Logan turns up just as Leo is slurping down the last of his cereal, and when I send him off to brush his teeth, I feel my façade begin to crack.
“Nothing bad will happen to him,” Logan murmurs, watching the play of emotions on my face. “In fact, I’ll make sure this trip is exactly what he needs.”
“I know.” It’s not the first time Logan has hinted that Leo needs to get out and stretch his wings. And I agree with him. In theory. “And there’s no one who I trust with him more.”
Logan nods, but his gaze lingers on me as Leo comes flying out of the bathroom. As always, my son is a good distraction, leaping down the porch and hopping from foot to foot until he can scramble into the truck. Logan is slower to leave, waiting until I’ve kissed Leo through the open window before taking my hand. I stare down at our entwined fingers rather than into the depths of his all-seeing eyes. “You need us back, just text me.”
“I will.”
We part with a brush of the lips, Leo making choking sounds as he fights to hide his grin. I give his curls one last ruffle, schooling my face so my son doesn’t notice the tears I’m barely holding back. “Have the best time ever!”
He replies with a fist pump, and I watch him bouncing in his seat until Logan places a steadying hand on his shoulder. It’s my last glimpse of them as Marion’s car passes them on the drive,and then I straighten my spine, dashing away the couple of tears that managed to squeeze free.
“That boy is going to have the time of his life,” she tells me as we fall into step on the way to the store. Marion is a grandmother three times over and is always full of hard-earned wisdom. “The tighter we hold them, the more they think there’s something better out there. It’s good that he learns a few hard truths with Logan watching his back.”
I cock a brow at her as I unlock the store. “Are you telling me that absence makes the heart grow fonder?”
“You only miss things if they’re not right under your nose every hour of the day.” Marion’s eyes crinkle at the edges as they slide my way. “But a little absence can sometimes help you realize there are other ways to fill your day.”
I frown. “I don’t want Leo to miss out on anything.”
Her hip gently bumps mine. “Who says I was talking about Leo, huh?”
I shrug, but as I start getting the counter set up for the day, I realize that Marion’s insight might have cut too close to the bone. What exactly would my life look like without Leo taking up so much space in it?
It’s not an easy conversation to have with myself, so I throw myself into my work, handing out buckets, stocking shelves, and catching up on paperwork. I plaster a smile on my face every time a customer comes into the store, but as soon as I’m alone, I’m drumming grooves into the counter with nervous fingers. Even though I barely walked a mile all day, I’m exhausted by the time I lock up, my skin so tight I can barely fumble my way through the front door. I’m trying to convince myself to dig something out of the freezer for dinner when Kaysie’s face appears on the other side of the mesh screen, a pizza box and bottle of wine in her hands.
“Whoa,” she murmurs as I let her in, her nose wrinkling in alarm. “Is the greenhouse on fire, or is this an omega SOS?”
“Sorry, I just finished at the store,” I mutter as I lead her over to the dining table. “I’ll just run upstairs and change.”
