I shrug because I can’t change it. “It is what it is.”
“Have you told your dad about being friends with Jack?” she asks, but Macy already knows the answer, so I’m not quite sure why she’s asking.
I raise my eyebrows for a moment, taking a drink of my water bottle. “Do you think I want him to lock me in my room and never let me leave? Of course I haven’t told him I’m friends with Jack.”
Macy chuckles, leaning back in her seat, a smug look forming. “Then what’s your plan when he finds out you aren’t just friends?”
“Again with this, Mace?” I say, letting her comment roll off my shoulders. She doesn’t know. How could she know?
“Your hair is up.”
My hand flies to cover the hickey I found this morning. Jack must have left it on my neck during yesterday’sfun. I thought it was hidden by my hair and the mock neck sweater I’m wearing, but I forgot when I pulled my hair up into a clip.
“So? Am I going to have to pry details out of you, or do you want to share what it’s like breaking your rule to be worshipped by the captain of the hockey team?” she asks, pushing aside her laptop to give me her full attention.
“I think my rule was broken a while ago, but how do you know it was Jack? Could have been someone else,” I argue, and Macy rolls her eyes.
“Because yesterday was Tuesday, and you were tutoring at Jack’s, but maybe he’s the one tutoring you now,” she teases, and there’s no mistaking how hot my face feels.
“It’s nothing, Macy.”
My cousin laughs at me, and it only makes me wish I could hide under the table. “You don’t get to hook up with Jack and expect me to take ‘nothing’ for an answer.”
“There’s nothing to tell! We’re just having fun, or whatever. I don’t know,” I say, looking away to see if anyone is listening to us. I don’t know why they would, but talking about this out in the open has me on edge.
I don’t think I’m ready to tell her how great yesterday was, even after I froze. Jack could have made me feel like shit about leaving him high and dry, again, but instead, he just held me and told me about some of the people he and his mom met while volunteering on Thanksgiving.
He didn’t pressure me. Jack let it be my choice, and it meant the fucking world to me. I don’t think I realized what it would feel like to have someone else put me and my needs above their own.
Jack is . . . Jack.
I don’t know.
“Seriously? That’s it?”
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Seriously. I think it’s what I need after Bradley. I’m not . . . I’m just trying to figure out who I am now after all that. I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more than fun.” I really don’t. I love my friendship with Jack, and I really don’t want to lose him, but I have feelings I wish would go away.
Her face softens, and I look down at my lap, because I know it’s a bad idea to do this with Jack. I can’t stop myself, though. “And how’s that going?”
“I’m skating again,” I admit, daring to take a quick glance up at Macy. Her jaw is wide open in shock.
“You’re skating?”
I nod slowly, watching as tears well up in her eyes. I guess maybe I waited to tell her until I knew it wasn’t a fluke, becauseMacy was there for all of it. She didn’t know why I quit, but she tried talking me out of the decision for weeks, even if I refused to change my mind in the process. It got to the point where I refused to talk to Macy because she brought it up every time I saw her.
“That’s incredible, Al. I’m so happy for you.” Her voice breaks, and I feel my own tears well up.
There was no changing my mind then because I didn’t want to hurt Bradley, even though it was hurting me. It was one of the many ways I put his wants above my needs.
After the night she took me to the hospital, I told her everything. She was horrified, but when I explained why I quit skating, Macy broke down and cried with me.
“I’m happy, Macy. I really am, and I know this thing with Jack could end badly, but I’m finding my way back.”
Nothing worth having is ever easy.
CHAPTER 29
Alondra
