“I’m fine,” I say, looking at where Jack is pacing. “I’ve got him.”
He nods, heading back inside, and I shake out my hands, trying to stop them from trembling. Tonight could’ve been so much worse.
I keep my arms wrapped around myself, trying to conserve my body heat as I walk closer to Jack. “Hey,” I say softly, unsure of where to start.Thanks for the assist inside?“It’s okay, he’s gone,” I decide upon, trying to play it safe.
“How can you say it’s okay?” he asks, each word sounding like it takes extreme effort to say.
“Because saying it’s not okay doesn’t change anything.”
“Alondra.”
My brain hurts trying to dissect the way Jack says my name. “What?” I ask, clenching Jack’s sweatshirt in my fists to steady myself.
“Did Bradley hurt you tonight?” he asks, repeating the question again.
“What would you do if I said yes? Go after him and get yourself kicked off the team, blowing your future to pieces? Or, better yet, you’d probably find yourself thrown in a cell because he’s smart enough to know what to say to get you to hit him first.”
Honestly? I’m not okay. I should have been more careful tonight.
“I don’t know what I’d do, but I know it’s not okay. None of this is okay, and it fucking matters,” Jack says, turning around to face me, his chest heaving.
“Except it doesn’t! He isn’t going to stop, Jack. The best thing we can do is ignore him because I’m done letting him control me, and living in fear of the next time he’ll show up is just another form of the fucking mind games he used to play with me.” The mental abuse was almost worse than the physical kind, making me doubt everything about myself.
“You matter.You matter to me, Alondra,” Jack says, dragging his hands through his hair, and I fight the instinct to reach for him. “What did he mean after you said no to him?”
I snap my mouth shut, knowing the truth would be the tipping point for what little restraint Jack is holding onto. I shake my head, glancing away. Why do I matter to him? Why couldn’t he have just left me alone after realizing I was his coach’s daughter?
“Jack, don’t . . . don’t ask me about that. Please,” I say, somehow managing to keep my voice from breaking. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“Al, I saw the look on your face.”
I don’t know how to tell Jack about it without bursting into tears.
“I promise you it can’t be any worse than what I’m already thinking,” Jack says, stepping closer to me, and I want him to wrap me in his arms because I think it’s where I feel safest, but I need to find a way to make myself feel safe. “You went to get a drink and never came back. I shouldn’t have let you walk off by yourself after realizing Kane and some of the football players we know showed up.”
I scoff, reminding myself I can’t always rely on Jack and his friends to be there to step between Bradley and me. I have to learn to stand on my own at some point. “I’m not someone for you to babysit. You should be able to talk to your friends without worrying about me.”
“I can’t help unless you talk to me.”
Does he not realize I’ve already said more about this to him than I have with anyone besides Macy?
“What do you want to talk about? He was here. It happened. I can’t change it, but he left.”
“Bradley isn’t going to stop,” Jack points out as if it’s something I don’t know already. It’s the only reason I’vecontinued letting the guys sleep on our couch longer than a week.
“You think I don’t know that?” I ask, a cruel laugh sounding from me.
“What happened the last time you told him no?” Jack insists, and this time, tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them.
“He pushed me down the stairs outside his house in subzero temperatures last January, leaving me to pass out in a pile of snow with broken bones and a nasty concussion. He didn’t even bother opening the door when Macy showed up because I told him I was done. That’s what happened last time I told him no.” I stare at him, hating how his handsome face drains of color, but he wanted to know. After everything else he already knew about my relationship with Bradley, he had to know it wouldn’t be pretty. “Are you happy now?” I ask, the crack in my voice echoing the way I’ve broken myself wide open.
“Darlin’ . . .”
The tears are streaming down my face, and I wipe them away, angry they’re falling. “Don’t, Jack. I’m not your girlfriend, and I’m sure as hell not a problem for you to try and fix. Just leave me alone.”
CHAPTER 22
Alondra
