I know how stupid I was to become that girl, but everyone thinks it’d be so damn easy to leave until they’re in the situation being told no one else will ever love you, especially if even your dad doesn’t. Bradley was so good at twisting everything until I was the one apologizing because if I hadn’t told him no, then it wouldn’t have happened. When I wouldn’t apologize, he wouldn’t let me leave the room until I forgave him because who would believe me if I told them? It’d be my word against his, and everyone believed he was the perfect and charming guy he led them to believe he was—the type of guy I swore he was at the beginning of our relationship.
I took pictures of the abuse because I think I needed to convince myself it was real, especially when Bradley made it seem impossible to think anyone would believe me.
I would have done anything to make him happy.
Now, it makes me nauseous to even look at the hidden folder of pictures, let alone do something with them. Regardless of the photographic evidence they provide, at the end of the day, I’m not sure they’re worth much. It’d still be my word against his.
“He thinks you’re his,” Jack says slowly.
“I know,” I say, finally looking up at him. He’s pulled his necklace out from underneath his shirt, twisting the pendant at the end.
We’re not over till I say we’re over.
“Bradley is why you stopped skating,” Jack says, putting the pieces together.
“I know how stupid it sound—” I’m cut off by how fast his head snaps in my direction, his crystal eyes shining like glass.His black eye sticks out like a sore thumb, and I can’t believe it was just yesterday we woke up on the couch.
“No, it’s not stupid. Don’t ever call it that,” he says, and being here with Jack—feeling safe and seen and heard—is exactly what gives me the courage to continue.
“The last time I skated before the morning you saw me was a little over a year ago. There was a local competition my coach entered me in to practice my programs, and my short was incredible. I didn’t pop a single jump, and I was so excited because my dad was supposed to be there, but then I realized Bradley wasn’t smiling. He just tilted his head and looked at me like he was confused before asking me why it wasn’t enough for me to have him there. He said it didn’t matter how well I did, my dad was never going to put me over hockey and his players.” I pause, taking a second to catch my breath, swiping away the tears threatening to fall because it feels silly to shed any more tears over the past. “I tried to argue with him, insisting he was wrong because Dad promised—hepromisedhe would be there. Then Bradley punched me in my ribs so hard I couldn’t breathe. I knew better than to argue with him, but I still did it anyway, and it was for nothing because he was right. My dad never showed up.
“I think they were just bruised, but I couldn’t catch my breath, so I knew I had to drop out of the competition. Bradley was so apologetic afterward, saying if I tried to leave him, he’d hurt himself. I was in pain and afraid of the person who I thought loved me, and I quit that night.”
I hate that I quit skating because of Bradley. I hate it more than anything because I loved it, but at the time, I thought I craved the feeling of being loved more.
Jack hasn’t let go of the pendant, and I want to ask what it means to him. He exhales a shaky breath, tucking it back under his shirt. “He was wrong, Al. I-I wish I knew what to say, but allI can think about is how fucking wrong he was. I hate him for taking advantage of you, but even more than that . . .” Jack trails off, hanging his head as he grips the comforter in his fists.
“More than that?” I ask, and Jack shakes his head.
“He thinks of you like a possession. I have a very hard time believing he’ll let you go easily.”
I scoff, hating that I agree. “Bradley doesn’t have a choice in the matter. I’m not his. I’m not anyone’s property.”
Jack leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Does your dad know?”
I never told my parents. The night Bradley and I broke up, he pushed me down the stairs outside his house. I hit my head on the railing, but the way I landed caused my arm to twist underneath me, breaking it along with a few of my ribs. I called Macy, and she came to get me, only when she got there, I was passed out in the snow. She called my parents on the way to the emergency room, and they believed me when I told them I slipped and fell down the stairs because I was upset we’d broken up.
It was icy, so it was believable. They never questioned it.
“No.”
“What did he want?” Jack asks.
“For me to stay away from you. I guess he’s threatened by you.” Way more than just threatened if he was willing to come here to tell me himself. “Why didn’t you tell me he tracked you down a few weeks ago?”
“Honestly?” he asks, and I nod. “I was afraid you’d run from me again if I pushed you for answers you weren’t ready to give me. Now I’m starting to think I should have listened when you told me to stay away the first time. I don’t want to be the reason he’s making you feel small and afraid.”
I can’t blame Jack for being afraid of me running. I shiver, grabbing a pillow to hug to my chest. “I don’t care. If it’s not youhe’s threatened by, it’ll be someone else. You’re my friend, Jack. I like being your friend, but Bradley’s influenced enough of my decisions, so I mean it when I sayI don’t care.He doesn’t get to control me anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I know exactly how Bradley is.”
Fuck, Bradley knows where I live.
Jack stands, rolling his shoulders, but I’m not sure there’s anything I can do to help relieve the tension coiled in him. “You hung up the phone, Al. Don’t ever do that again, okay?” God, I’m so glad he came. I know Jack didn’t have to, but he did. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. He’s gone. Thank you for coming.” I quickly check my phone, noting the time. I sniffle, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “Don’t you guys have to get ready for your game soon?”
