I take a sip of mybougiecoffee, looking around the large room. “So, what are we doing in the library? I thought campuswas supposed to be closed today?” I ask, moving to a much safer topic because I’m honestly not sure I trust what I’m thinking to not come out of my mouth.
I’d bet if I were to go around and count, there’s only a handful of people in the building, including us.
“The library really never closes, but I think they have a skeleton crew today if anyone needs help. I like to come here for a change of scenery,” she says, and I tap the sides of my cup, setting it down to look back at Alondra. Her pale cheeks flush a bright red, and she tucks some of her long curls behind her ear before closing her laptop most of the way. “Sorry, I probably should have just asked you to meet me at the coffee shop or something. This was dumb,” she rambles, and sure, the library isn’t first on my list of places to go, but if it’s on hers, I’ll add it to mine.
“Al, I don’t care where we hang out. I’m sorry my schedule has been kind of crazy this past week, but I want to hear how yours went,” I say, losing the flirty swagger from before. “Are Macy and Charzard still broken up?” I ask, purposefully messing up his name to make Al laugh.
She wrinkles her nose in disgust, a scoff leaving her. “I think so, but Chad has a way of worming his way back in and getting Macy to take him back like a parasite. You wouldn’t believe how many nights we’ve spent drinking after a breakup only for them to get back together while I’m nursing my hangover the next morning. I know he didn’t cheat on her this time, but he has before and she’s still taken him back, so I really don’t know. Macy likes to ignore me when it comes to Chad.”
“I don’t see the point in relationships, but I guess that’s just me,” I say, taking a long drink of my coffee. “It seems like a miserable cycle to be caught in.”
“Not all relationships are as toxic as theirs,” Alondra says, pulling my attention back to her. When I’m with her, it’s hardto look away for too long, even if that’s not something a friend should think about another friend.
Maybe I’m just torturing myself by asking this question because Alondra seems like the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship to be intimate with someone, but I’m curious about how her answer compares to mine. “Have you had a good relationship?”
Her entire body stills, and I watch as she builds her walls again, brick by brick, right before my eyes. “Yes and no,” she says slowly, and it causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.
No?What is that supposed to mean?
Is her ex the reason she ran from Twin City?
“Who?” I ask, the question rumbling from my chest before I can stop it. I know I’m jumping to conclusions, but she looked like she’d seen a ghost, and I haven’t forgotten what Alondra said about making herself small, either.
Alondra looks away, her jaw clenching. “I don’t think Chad and Macy are right for each other, but I’m not sure I’m ready to give up on my hope that there’s someone out there for everyone,” she says, avoiding the question. If I ask again, she’s going to run. Alondra’s always running from me, and I want her to stay. “What about you?” Alondra asks, turning it around on me.
“Me?”
She twists her hair around her finger again. “I don’t see anyone else sitting by us, so yeah, you.”
“I’ve never had a relationship,” I answer, and finally, I’ve surprised her.
“Ever?”
I shake my head. “No, what’s the point? I don’t believe in love, and I’m not interested in tying myself to someone.”
“The point is, you’ll have someone there for you unconditionally. Someone who will accept you as you are andsupport you no matter what,” she says, and I admire her answer. I really do, but it’s not that easy.
“Sure, it sounds simple enough, but I’m sorry. I don’t believe there’s a perfect person out there for everyone. It always ends,” I explain.
“Who knew you were such a cynic about love?” she muses, her fingers resuming their tapping.
I haven’t seen anyone even move in this place since I sat down. Are we the only ones here?
“I’m not a cynic, I’m a realist.” Fuck, I mean after seeing my dad wail on my mom my entire childhood until he got locked up, I don’t think I ever stood a shot in hell at believing in relationships. I try so hard to make sure I’m completely different from him in every way, but the fact of it is, I am his son. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and I’m not interested in finding out if I’m anything like him.
Ergo, no relationships.
“So you’re telling me you’ve only ever hooked up with people without any of the attachment?”
“I spend too much time at the rink to bother trying to have a relationship, even if I wanted one—which I don’t. Sex is just sex,” I say, dragging a hand through my hair before stretching, my muscles protesting.
“I’m going to find you a girlfriend,” she says, her lips curling into a distracting smile.
“Sure, Al. Whatever you say.” I laugh, brushing her off. It’s probably a mistake to ask, but I need to know if I’m creating shit in my head that doesn’t really exist. “Why did you need to leave Twin City?”
Her gaze averts from mine, staring instead at the coffee cup in front of her. “Drop it, please.”
Fuck, I should have left it alone. “Al?—”
