“I’m glad you pulled your head out of your ass,” Nate says, clapping my shoulder from the backseat.
“Me too. For fuck’s sake, you both looked miserable without the other. It felt wrong to say Jack and Alondra instead of JackandAlondra, ya know?” Dylan says, and Coop scoffs, leaning forward in his seat as he tries to see through the snow coming down.
“No, it sounds the same to me,” Nate argues, and I chuckle at their ridiculousness.
“Y’all realize I only actually asked for one of you to come pick me up from the airport, right? I didn’t need everyone to come,” I say, but it’s easier to focus on this than the fact I’m hopefully on my way to the girl of my dreams.
“No way were any of us missing this. It’s like the end of an era—Jack Schultz is off the market and in love,” Dylan says, and Coop shakes his head.
“Shut the fuck up before you scare him,” Coop scolds, and I can’t say I blame him for it.
“I’m good,” I say, but I am worried about how this is going to go with Alondra. I already know how she feels, so it’s not like I have to stress about whether she returns my feelings or not, but I wouldn’t blame her if she slammed the door in my face before I have a chance to explain. I hope I’m not too late.
I’ve been careless with Alondra, and I shouldn’t have been. It was stupid to ever suggest friends with benefits, but looking back, it seems silly to think the label mattered. Al and I were together more than we weren’t, and it became natural to fall asleep next to her. I wash my sheets once a week, but I haven’t washed the pillow she used when she slept at my place because it still held the faint scent of strawberry.
“Good,” Coop says, and I’m on pins and needles the rest of the drive, mainly because I’m worried Coop might crash his truck trying to get me to Alondra, but we make it one piece.
I feel a little better after all of their encouragement, but I’m still shaking on my way up the stairs to the third floor, and it’s not from the blowing whirls of snow.
I knock on the door, and Ellie opens it a few moments later, her face peeling into a wide smile. “Bout time,” she says, jumping forward to hug me. “Oh shit, it’s cold.” She shivers, stepping back into the apartment. “Al, it’s for you,” Ellie calls out, and I shrug out of my coat and my sneakers.
Al steps into the hallway a moment later, freezing when she sees me. “Jack? What are you doing here?”
My heart skips a few beats, happy to be in the same room as her again, and I look her over, finally recognizing the quickening of my pulse for what it is:love.
I’m so fucking in love with her, I want to smack myself upside the head for not knowing sooner.
Her dark hair is piled on top of her head, and she’s drowning in a giant sweater and sweatpants. I feel my smile growwhen I spot her fuzzy penguin socks as Alondra stares at me, presumably waiting to hear why I’m here.
“Can we talk?” I ask, and she nods, motioning for me to follow her into her room.
“What was so important for you to show up in the middle of a snowstorm instead of calling?” she asks, taking a seat on her bed, while I shut her door behind me.
“I needed to see you,” I say, trying to keep a short rein on my self-control because I don’t want to just blurt,I love you.
“So you drove here in the snow?”
“Actually, Coop, Dylan, and Nate were picking me up from the airport. Almost didn’t make it back because of the damn snow, but I was lucky enough to get on the last flight before they shut the airport down,” I explain, dragging a hand through my hair. “The team flew back this morning, but I took a quick detour back home.”
Alondra blinks, crossing her legs. “You flew to Texas for a few hours and then came back here? Why would you do that?”
“I saw my dad.”
Her eyes widen as she inhales a short breath. “Jack?—”
“Just let me finish, okay?” I ask, hoping I don’t mess this up more than I already have, but I feel like it’s pretty impossible to do at this point. She watches me, nodding slowly.
“Okay.”
If only she agreed this easily all the time, but I think I’d hate that. I’m glad she knows she can argue with me.
“You were right. My dad fucked me up. I’ve been terrified of turning into him, and I thought the best way to prevent it from happening, meant doing everything possible to not put myself in a situation where I could. I thought if I didn’t believe in love, it meant everything was fine—I wouldn’t be in danger of being like him.”
I sit on the bed, realizing now that I’ve started, I can’t stop talking. “He tried to kill my momma, and it’s why he’s in prison. I called the police on him after watching him beat her for years. Sometimes he’d do it in front of me, claiming he was showing me what a real man was like. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in love, but I was afraid of it.”
Al moves closer to me, resting her hand on mine. I grip it tightly, grateful for her silent reassurance. “I realized if I was going to face my fear of love, I needed to look him in the eyes. I always believed in love, but I had to prove to myself I’m nothing like him, and now I know I’m not. He’s a sorry excuse for a human, and Momma raised me better than that. I’m not his son, and I never will be. I’m a momma’s boy through and through, and proud of it.”
I drag a hand through my hair, and I’m sure it’s sticking straight up by this point with how many times I’ve run my hands through it today alone. “I don’t want to be afraid of love, and I wish it was this switch I could flick on, but I’m working on it because Iwantto be the type of man who deserves to be with you. Seeing you is the best part of my day—actually,youare the best part of my day every damn day.
