I’d spent a lot of time after my conversation with Penny thinking about filing a restraining order, and I can’t always rely on Jack and his friends to help keep me safe. So the first thing I did Saturday morning was head to the police station to ask for help filing a restraining order until I could go to the courts on Monday.
The pictures I had saved of the abuse during our relationship, the threatening messages, and the fact that Bradley had shown up at my apartment were enough for the officer I spoke to at the station to contact a judge for an emergency protective order. For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like I had to look over my shoulder. It was easier to breathe.
Jack’s mom was right. This is something I needed to do for myself to take some of the power back.
I deserve to feel safe in my apartment without the fear that Bradley could show up at any time. I should get to be free with my friends, and not have to worry he’ll make a scene, or act like we’re still together.
If Bradley contacts me or comes within a hundred feet of me, all I have to do is call the police and he’ll be arrested.
I’m worried this could send him into a spiral, but I feel better knowing I’ve taken the first steps in making sure Bradley knows I’m serious about him leaving me alone.
Macy’s getting lunch with her parents, and I’m honestly excited to tell her. She wanted me to do this a year ago, but I wasn’t ready.
Seeing how Penny picked up the pieces to make a life for herself and Jack showed me I can take this first step. As she so eloquently said,You’ll stop letting those moments of fear and panic control your decisions.I’m done letting Bradley scare me into submission.
I texted Macy and Ellie to ask if they want to get celebratory drinks tonight because I had big news, and they’ve been blowing up my phone for the last thirty minutes asking if it has to do with me and Jack. I rolled my eyes and ignored them because I want to keep it a surprise.
Nate asked Ellie to water his plants while they’re out of town for their away game, but she said she’d be home soon. I think I’m ready to tell her everything.
It’s crazy how much a person can change in a few months. If anyone had asked me at the beginning of the school year if I thought I’d have a new group of friends, consisting mainly of hockey players, hooking up with a guy I’m crazy for, or filing a restraining order against Bradley, I would have laughed in their faces.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I also feel more like myself than I have in a long time.
“Where the fuck did I leave my water bottle?” I ask, walking around my apartment for the third time, trying to find the stupid thing. I know I could just get a glass from the cupboard, but I’d rather just figure out what I did with my water bottle.
Did I leave it in the car earlier?
After another lap, I admit defeat, slipping into one of my jackets and slippers, grabbing my keys out of the bowl on the counter to run out to my car quick.
I’m zipping up the coat as I flip the lock, opening the door, so I don’t realize Bradley’s standing on the other side until it’s too late, and my heart stops. I try to grab the door to shut it, but he shoves his way in, tossing a crumpled piece of paper on the ground.
Oh my god.
“A fucking restraining order?” His voice is deathly calm, shutting the door behind him.
The walls feel like they’re shrinking in on me, caging me in place. “I’m going to call the police. You’re violating the restraining order,” I say, willing my voice to be strong, but when I feel for my phone in my pocket, it’s not there. Fuck, where’s my phone?
Why is today the day I’m forgetting everything?
“They served me at the fucking stadium!” Bradley bellows, his eyes glittering with rage. I flinch backward, tripping over my backpack next to the couch. “Do you know how embarrassing it was to get served in front of my coaches and teammates? You need to drop this shit right now. Tell them it was a mistake and you lied.”
My hands are shaking as I try to look for where I could have left my phone, but I feel cold when I see it sitting on the counter behind Bradley. Oh my god, this is really bad.
“I loved you, or at least I thought I did. I made so many mistakes during our relationship, but this isn’t a mistake. I’m not lying or hiding how you used to treat me like I was your personal punching bag. You have been threatening me for months, but if you go now, maybe I won’t call the police,” I say,my voice starting small, but I’m not letting him do this. I don’t have to take it anymore.
His eyes widen as he stares at me, stunned, and I move to dart around him, desperate to use the element of surprise to get past him to my phone, but Bradley’s reflexes kick in.
Bradley’s arm flies out, knocking me to the side, but he sends me sprawling into the barstools with a crash. The pain in my side is sharp, and tears immediately spring to my eyes. I try to blink them away, my breath stolen.
I’m slow to push myself up, and Bradley laughs, the sound a low warning. “What? You start fucking Jack, and you think you’re worth something now? Daddy still doesn’t love you, and you think getting with his player is going to fix that? Angel, you’re never going to be enough.”
“Fuck you,” I spit out at him, feeling a tear drip down my cheek.
Bradley reaches out to grasp my chin tightly. “Does he let you act like this? Why the hell do you think it’s okay with me? You used to know better.”
“I do know better,” I grit out through clenched teeth, “than to let someone like you tell me what I’m worth.”
His grip tightens, causing a whimper to escape from my lips. “This fucking piece of paper doesn’t mean shit. If you think it protects you, then good for you. Jack is fair game, and it’d be a shame if something were to happen.” I jerk my chin out of his grasp.
