You. She made sure I could never have you.Lysimache had put all this in motion by cursing Locris. She had put me in this position where Icouldn’t have the life I wanted because I had to remain worthy to undo her evil actions.
“None of it matters,” I said, defeated. “Because I’m just like her and I’m going to meet the same end and there’s nothing either one of us can do to stop it.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Why would you say that?” Xander asked, surprised.
“That she and I are the same? When she and I fought at the temple, she repeatedly told me that we were. That I was vengeful, angry, petty, and every other bad thing just like her. It was one of the reasons I didn’t strike her down. I was afraid that doing so would make it true.”
“It’s not true.” He let out a deep breath. “If she were not already dead, I would kill her for making you cry and for causing you to doubt yourself.”
I shook my head. He didn’t understand. “We have the same aspect of the goddess. Fury. And she could tell what I was thinking.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. As I’ve told you, you have an expressive face. Sometimes you are easy to read. Regardless, you wouldn’t do what Lysimache did.”
I admitted out loud the thing that I’d kept entirely to myself. “But I would want to.”
“Wanting and doing are two different things. Actions speak to your character, not your thoughts. We all have thoughts we can’t control, desires for things we cannot have, but we don’t act on them. Life is choices. What we choose and do is what matters.”
“I understood her,” I whispered, scared to be sharing something so dark and ugly. “I understood the decisions she made. She even told methat she should have made me her heir. She thought that I would have joined her if she’d asked.”
“Did you allow a temple full of priestesses to be murdered?” he demanded.
“No.”
“Lia, look at me.” When I raised my face to his, he said, “I know you don’t have much reason to trust me. But believe me when I tell you this—you arenothinglike Lysimache.”
The rough conviction in his voice made tears form in my eyes.
“And I promise you now that if you become an evil monster bent on the destruction of two nations, I’ll run you through myself.” He had switched from seriousness to teasing me.
As if he could sense that I needed his lightheartedness. That it was the only thing keeping me from slipping under.
“You would never,” I said.
“No, I wouldn’t,” he agreed. “If she claimed you as her heir, then you can go and take the temple treasury for your own. That could certainly help with the war effort.”
“Io said all the treasure is covered in fire dragon’s blood, so we’d have to find a way to remove it.”
“Another vault you’ve broken into? And you brought my sister? Why am I not surprised?” he said with a smile.
That got me to smile in return. Xander had become my sheltered port in the storm. The world could rage around us, but here together, just the two of us, we could talk and tease and ignore how everything else was falling apart.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he said.
He left and I missed him. He had only gone into the washroom but I wanted to follow him. To stay close to him. I needed his strength.
I was grateful when he returned quickly. He had a damp washcloth in one hand and a bar of soap in the other. He sat down next to me again.
“Sit up.” He helped me into a sitting position. “Your hands are not the only place where there’s blood.”
I thought that he would hand me the washcloth, but he began to clean my face himself. My breath hitched when the warm cloth made contact with my skin. He was being so careful and gentle. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with sensations and feelings.
“Last night you told me you could control your magic. Why didn’t you turn it off?” His face was so close to mine that his words washed over me.
“I let it go too far,” I said. I wasn’t talking about the magic. I was talking about him.
He rubbed soap into one corner of the cloth to clean and then used another end to rinse it away. “There,” he said. “Finished.” He then turned his attention to my hands and began to clean those as well.
