Zalira’s hand rested on my shoulder. “She’s gone.”
I was still holding the ripped part of my tunic against Lysimache’s throat. I stood and turned toward Dolion.
“Why did you do that?” I asked angrily. “Why would you come in here armed?”
“You had a weapon with you?” Thrax demanded.
“I thought she was going to hurt Lia,” Dolion said, sounding annoyed. Because we were upset with him? He turned toward me. “You were in danger and I just acted. I was trying to protect you!”
“I can protect myself,” I told him. His interference had cost me the rest of my answers.
“You know that no one is allowed to bring any kind of weapon into this room!” Thrax said.
Dolion’s tone shifted to one of regret. “I should have known better. I’m sorry. I was worried about Lia.”
“I understand.” Thrax clasped his phratry brother on the shoulder. “It was an honest mistake.”
Zalira asked me, “Are you all right?”
“I should have let Io come. She might have been able to save her.”
“You can’t think that way,” she said. “First, with the way she’s been lately, I’m not sure Io would have even tried. And second, no one could have saved Lysimache. She made sure of that.”
Zalira was right. The high priestess had bled out too quickly.
I had come so close and didn’t get all the answers I needed. I felt disconnected from myself, my mind hazy, as if I couldn’t think straight. I had to get out of this house. I turned and went down the stairs, grabbed my weapons, opened the front door, and started walking toward the palace.
I was vaguely aware of Zalira trailing behind me with the horses, but I was in some kind of a daze. I didn’t hear or see anything else. Ikept replaying the moment when Lysimache had killed herself over in my head. If I’d just been a moment faster. If I had only realized what she’d been about to do, I could have stopped her.
I relied entirely on muscle memory to lead me back to my room.
At some point Zalira must have handed off the horses to one of the guards, as she hadn’t gone to the stables and was right behind me.
When I opened my bedroom door, she said, “Do you need anything?”
To sleep for a hundred years? So that when I awoke, this would all be over? “No.”
She nodded toward her room. “I was able to hear your entire conversation with Lysimache. I’ll tell the others everything that happened.”
“Thank you. I just want to ...” I wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend like none of this was happening. To shut out the entire world and have it all disappear.
“Go rest,” she said, and I saw the concern in her eyes.
I went into my room and closed the door. I headed straight for the bed and got under the blankets, pulling them over my head. I wished I could sleep. Instead I lay there and continued to repeatedly run my final encounter with Lysimache through my head. Seeing the expression on her face just before she died. I lost track of time, staying in that moment.
My stomach grumbled. I was hungry. And thirsty. But I didn’t want to move.
“Lia?”
Xander had come into our room and slammed the door behind him. I stayed under the blankets.
He sat next to me on the bed. “Are you all right?”
“No.”
“I heard about Lysimache. Thrax found me and I came straight here.” He sounded so concerned that I started to cry.
“Don’t do that,” he said as he tugged the blankets down from my face. “You know it destroys me when you cry.”
