Because I did not need to see any of that.
It was like watching my parents kiss.
And it was strange to have these different parts of my world colliding. I thought of how Demaratus had called me Daemonian.
I was so many things now. A queen. An acolyte, a sister, a daughter, a friend. A wife.
A savior.
Locrian, Ilionian, Daemonian. I had once thought I had to choose one over the others. To make only one of those things matter, but it wasn’t true. I was all of them, and it was time that I started blending the separate parts of myself into one so that I wouldn’t feel as if I were being pulled in so many directions.
I could be many different things and they were all me.
And I was stronger because of them.
It was late when Xander returned to our room.
“The Carians have been spotted,” he said. “They’re not to the walls yet, but they will be here soon.”
I had spent the evening with my adelphia. Ahyana had complained about Rokh for a good amount of that time.
“He wants us to wait because of my broken ribs. I told him I’m fine, but nooo, he wants to be considerate and caring.”
“What a monster. Want me to kill him?” I asked her playfully, but she didn’t respond to my joke. I knew she was frustrated. I had certainly been there.
Suri called us over and we moved into position so that we could power her. She dug massive trenches around Troas, which expended a great deal of energy. I made a comment about how we were using the magic so openly.
“Things are going to change at the temple when I reopen it,” Io said. “The magic was intended for us, and that’s how it’s going to be going forward. All of Ilion will know.”
The soldiers had gone out and put wooden palisades inside the trenches. The ends were sharp and they hoped to prevent horses or dragons from getting closer to the wall.
Xander telling me about the army’s imminent arrival only served to remind me that both he and I could die. The fragility of our existence had become abundantly clear to me after losing my life.
And I no longer wanted to worry about it. I wanted to turn my mind off.
“If the Carians will be here soon, then we should make the most of the time we have,” I told him. “Undress.”
Chapter Sixty-Two
A mischievous look lit up Xander’s face. “Another thing a man never says no to.”
I watched him, my temperature rising with each piece of clothing he removed. When he was naked, he asked, “What now, my queen?”
“Over there,” I said. “Sit.”
I had placed a chair in the center of our room. He sat as I directed and I went over to lock our bedroom door.
He watched me with desire and amusement in his eyes as I walked back to him. “Does this mean you’re ready for your punishment?” he asked.
Where I was in charge and telling him what to do, while seeking our mutual pleasure? “If this is the kind of punishment you plan on giving me, then you have my permission to punish me as often as you’d like.”
His eyes darkened and I saw a muscle ticking in his jaw. “Wife, I adore you. I would worship the rain that waters the grass that grows under your feet.”
He tended to wax poetic when he was aroused.
Which he most certainly was.
As much as I enjoyed looking at him, I got the distinct feeling that he enjoyed looking at me even more. I slowly undid my belt and then let it fall to the floor, watching the way his breathing quickened. I lifted my tunic up over my head and he growled a curse word.
