And I felt the moment our souls connected, my name permanently written into his heart. This could never be undone. I should have given him the words sooner. I should have spent hours, days, weeks, telling him the truth.
I had loved him for so long.
And I saw the moment when he realized why I was telling him now, and the desperation, the terror, I saw on his face was almost more than I could bear.
He stretched through the gate bars, as far as he could. More than anything I wanted to go over to him and take his hand, comfort him as best I could.
But I couldn’t. I knew what he would do. He would hold on to me tightly and not let go. It’s what I would have done had our situations been reversed.
“Swim over here and take my hand,” he said, still reaching for me.
“Xander, you have to let me go.”
“Please.” The word was desperate and broken, as if it had been wrenched from deep inside him, frantically begging me not to leave him.
That single word, the way he said it—it very nearly broke my resolve.
“I will always love you,” I said. “Find me in the next world.”
He started hollering for Thrax to bring him something to tear open the gate, and I got ready to dive.
Xander yelled out, “No!”
“Dea Erinys,” I said. And then I went under.
I heard the muffled sound of him screaming my name as I started swimming toward the bottom. The pressure of the water rushing past me was so intense that, even with the strength from my aspect, I had to use the ladder to pull myself down.
Part of me pleaded to turn around. Drowning was my greatest fear, and I was rushing into it headfirst. I thought of Demaratus’s words—that only those who wanted to live would die with honor.
I would die with honor. And as he used to say, that was all I could ask for.
This was what had to happen. I was meant to lay down my life for my enemies. To protect Ilion. To make up for the sin that Ajax the Lesser had committed. I was Aianteioi—I would recompense for the sacrilege that had been done.
And I was doing it because of the love I had in my heart. The oracle had told me that love would be a tool or a weapon, and I had chosen for it to be a tool. It made impossible things possible, made me capable of things I didn’t think I could do.
A silver light appeared next to me. It was Luna.
For one terrible moment I thought she was here to save me, to transport me out of the water, but she swam alongside me. Somehow she was causing her silver scales to light up, and that made it so I could see what I was doing.
My ears popped as my lungs began to scream for air. Begging me to take one breath, just one.
Sucking in water would be the worst thing I could do.
Down, down, down I went. My cheeks began puffing out as I tried desperately not to breathe. My lungs burned and burned, and my limbs started to feel heavy. My head pounded and my ears rang.
Little black dots appeared at the edges of my vision and then ... there! I saw something shiny beneath me.
The lever.
I grabbed on to it and used the ladder for leverage so that I could push the lever in the opposite direction. Despite using my aspect, my strength felt nearly depleted. I fought against all my instincts to breathe, to swim up, so that I could finish this task.
Please help me.
Then I felt the click that Io had promised, and the water stopped rushing against me.
But it was still heavy as I struggled to swim. I tried reaching for Luna. She could save me and transport me out of here.
It had gone dark. I couldn’t see her, couldn’t feel her in the water.
