Io’s reasons for wanting me to stay away from Xander were sound. Logical, even. It made sense. She didn’t want him to be hurt if I left.
Or if I died.
He wasn’t the only person who could potentially be harmed if he and I grew closer. I knew how easily my heart could be shattered and ruined. How I could become like my almost sister-in-law, Doria, perpetually waiting for my brother to return from the dead and not able to move on without him. I knew I had the potential to be exactly the same way.
The thought of Xander dying ... it was almost more than I could bear.
“Have you done anything that might warrant temple guards?” Zalira asked Ahyana, and I was glad she had done it because I would have felt like a hypocrite if I’d been the one to ask.
“Not for lack of trying,” Ahyana said in an annoyed tone. “Rokh is usually the one who stops. He says we need to get to know each other better first.”
“Ahyana!” Zalira protested.
“I am an adult and can make my own decisions. Whatever happens between Rokh and me is just that—between us. I’m not interested in hearing anyone else’s opinions about it.” She briefly closed her eyes and exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I love him and we are going to be together when this is all over. And now there’s no reason that you can’t do the same thing with Stephanos.”
Zalira gasped slightly. I knew it was what she wanted more than anything—to be able to be with Stephanos again. To tell him that she loved him, as he had already told her. To completely bind their souls to one another.
Ahyana’s face and voice softened. “Zalira, none of us know how much time we have left. Life is too short, and it might be even shorter for us. You should be allowed to love and be loved in return.”
I thought I saw a tear go down Zalira’s cheek but sensed that she wouldn’t want me to call attention to it.
“We should get out,” Io announced, apparently coming to the same conclusion that I had. “I think what we all need is a good night’s rest.”
We climbed out of the pools and dried ourselves off. It was then that I realized that they had brought tunics to change into and I had come into the washroom without one. I stood there awkwardly with my linen draped around me. When they were all dressed, Io said they would see me in the morning and they left, closing the washroom door behind them.
I listened as she spoke briefly to her brother and felt foolish for not asking her to grab me a tunic.
And I suspected that it was because my body had come up with a ludicrous plan to go out into our bedroom in my wet linen. The words Xander had said to me about the first time he’d seen me this way—
You were like the goddess herself emerging from the deeps. If it were not blasphemy, I would have fallen to my knees and worshipped you.
They were seared into my mind.
It was as if my brain simply ceased to function and my body took over on the decision-making, because once I heard the room go quiet, I opened the door and entered our bedroom.
Chapter Five
Xander jumped to his feet when he saw me and made a sound in the back of his throat that had my toes curling. His eyes devoured me, and I shivered under his gaze, my heart thumping in anticipation.
He walked toward me, and my breath caught.
But my ridiculous plan hadn’t worked, as at the last moment he veered left and went into the washroom.
And he locked the door.
I had no right to feel crestfallen.
Nor could I continue to stand here pathetically waiting. I needed to get dressed. I glanced around and saw that probably several maids had come in and cleaned up our room, putting away my things. I was glad they had swept up the red dirt—I didn’t like the idea of touching it with my bare feet.
I went over to one of my trunks and found something boring to wear to bed, instead of what I had been considering—the practically see-through nightgown I’d worn the night I was attempting to distract him so that I could sneak out. I shouldn’t be trying to provoke him.
A bird cawed in the distance and I wondered if it was Rokh, which made me think about what Ahyana had just admitted. She had said that he held back in their physical interactions because he wanted them to get to know each other better. That told me that he hadn’t shared his secret with her yet, that he was a shape-shifter and if he and Ahyana married and had children, their sons would be under the same cursethat he was. They would suffer excruciating pain while being compelled to turn into ravens.
I wondered if he was delaying being intimate with her because of his secret.
Rokh wasn’t the only one still keeping secrets. As I put my tunic over my head, I thought about how there was still so much I hadn’t told Xander. I kept things from him and I suspected that he kept things from me. How could I want our relationship to become deeper when we couldn’t even fully trust each other?
I tied my belt loosely, went over to my table, and grabbed my brush. I sat down and began to work it through my wet hair. Part of me didn’t want to look at my own reflection because I was disappointed in myself.
