“He wouldn’t have been a burden, Kenny. He got cancer, and I had a heart attack. So, we would’ve been a pair of invalids you would’ve had to ship off a nursing home.”
“That would never happen. There’s no way I’d put my mother in a nursing home, where she would be neglected or abused.”
“What would you do if I got too old to take care of myself?”
“Hire a live-in nurse like Uncle Dee did when you were recovering from your heart attack.”
“Let’s hope I don’t get to that stage,” Justine said.
Francis had admitted ignoring the pains in his back, while she’d ignored the pains in her chest. When Kenny carried her into the ER with pains knifing her chest, she knew then it wasn’t indigestion. Then when a doctor placed the stereoscope against her chest, within seconds she was strapped onto a gurney with doctors and nurses sprinting toward the operating room.
After surgery, she was in intensive care, where she floated in and out of consciousness for several days. Once she moved into a room, the first face she saw was Kenny’s. He’d whispered in her ear that she had scared the shit out of him and never again would he listen to her self-diagnose her pain. He’d come every night directly from CPS—Child ProtectiveServices—where he’d been promoted as a casework supervisor. There were visits from some of her coworkers, and when she was finally discharged, Francis was waiting in her apartment with a private-duty nurse. He admitted he couldn’t come to the hospital because it was a reminder of what he’d experienced as a cancer patient.
Her eyelids fluttered as she blinked back tears. Her dear, dear friend was gone, and she would never get to see his face, hear his voice, or enjoy his gentle touch. She hadn’t been able to attend his funeral mass, because she feared experiencing an emotional breakdown; when Kenny had come to her apartment to tell her Francis had passed away, the pain in her chest had returned, and she feared having another heart attack. Kenny called her cardiologist, who suggested she come to his office for a battery of tests, all of which, thankfully, came back negative. He told her she probably had a panic attack and should avoid upsetting situations.
“Do you still meet your friends for breakfast every first Saturday of the month?” Justine asked Kenny, deftly changing the topic.
“No. The last time I saw Ray was when he assisted Father Morelli, who is the D’Allesandro’s family priest, at Uncle Dee’s funeral mass.”
“Does he like being a priest?”
“Ray says instead of healing bodies, he’s now healing souls. He’s currently assigned to a parish in the Bronx as an assistant pastor.”
“What about Frankie? You haven’t mentioned him in a while.”
“It’s been a while since we’ve gotten together. The last time we spoke, he said he was up to his eyeballs taking care of his family’s finances. And …”
“And what, Kenny?” Justine asked when he didn’t finish his sentence.
“He’s been running around with this girl who is messing with his head. I told him to stop seeing her, but he claims he can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, Mom. Maybe he doesn’t want to stop seeing her.”
Justine angled her head. “I hope you’re not having a similar problem with the woman you’re seeing.”
“Nope, because I’m not seeing anyone at the present time.” Kenny paused. “I’ve decided to take a break from dating and especially from getting into a relationship. I like not having to share the apartment with another person. I go to bed when I want, get up when I want, and I don’t have to answer to anyone as to where I’ve been.”
“That sounds a little selfish, son.”
“It’s your fault that I was an only child, and I’ve never had to share what belongs to me with anyone.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Kenny. There was a time when you, Ramon, and Frankie shared everything. Y’all changed after Ramon was assaulted.”
“I think that was the point when we grew up, Mom. We were in our early twenties, believing we were invincible. That there wasn’t nothing we couldn’t do or accomplish. Seeing Ray in that hospital bed covered in bandages and hooked up to machines that were keeping him alive was the scariest thing I’d ever experienced in my life. That if they’d disconnected his ventilator, he would’ve stopped breathing. It was a wake-up call that life is as fragile as a single sheet of tissue paper. Everything Ray had worked for up to that point was futile, because with the loss of sight in one eye, a fractured ankle, collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, and crushed skull, his injuries were so severe that everyone knew he would never make it through medical school.”
“And because life is fragile and time fleeting, don’t you think it’s time for you to reunite with your friends? Invitethem over to your place for a weekend get-together. I’m certain they would appreciate you cooking for them.”
Kenny’s smile was dazzling. “I kinda like your suggestion, Mom.”
“Don’t kinda like it, Kenny. Just do it. It’s probably what you need to get you out of your funk.”
“I didn’t realize I was in a funk.”
“Well, you are,” Justine countered. “Every time you come to see me, you bring a bad vibe with you.”
“Maybe it has to do with my work. You can’t imagine what some parents do to their kids before we’re forced to remove them from their homes.”
