“I don’t think you’ll ever be ready, Frankie,” Kenny said, “because you don’t know what you want.”
“And you do, Kenny?” Frankie asked.
He shook his head. “No. But, I’m willing to wait. When the right one comes along, I’ll know it.”
“How long are you willing to wait, Kenny?” Ray questioned.
“For as long as it will take. It wouldn’t matter if I’m twenty or thirty-five. Once I make that decision, I’ll commit to being a faithful husband.”
“You better get all you can before that, because all of the kitty cat that’s out here will no longer be available to you,” Frankie teased, winking.
Kenny didn’t want to talk about sleeping with women because of what he’d just experienced with Larissa. It probably served him right, because he never should’ve had sex with her in his mama’s house.
The server came over to take their orders, and all talk about the war and women was forgotten. The conversation segued to college and the courses they planned to take, as they shared bacon, sausage, pancakes, eggs, waffles, and coffee.
Two hours later they parted, with a promise to meet again the following month.
PART FOUR
1970s–1980s
THE ROADS NOT TAKEN
CHAPTER26
Ramon Torres closed the textbook and then walked over to the bed in the alcove of his basement apartment and flopped down on it. He was exhausted, his brain drained, and he prayed to make it through the next four months and earn his degree, then take the entire summer off to mentally recuperate before enrolling in medical school. The apartment had become his sanctuary, where he wouldn’t have to interact with members of his family until it was time for him to eat. He’d asked his father if he could move out of his bedroom and into the basement, because he needed a quiet place to study. He had to maintain a certain grade average, because he didn’t want to jeopardize losing his scholarship.
Although there was more room in the house than in their Upper West Side apartment, his brothers and sisters ran down hallways and in and out of rooms as if they were playing in Central Park. Once he threatened to move out and into residences belonging to Columbia University, Enrique agreed to let him move into the finished basement he’d planned to use as a rental. His parents had worked two jobs for two years to save enough to purchase a two-family house in aquiet neighborhood along a tree-lined Bronx street. Ray’s full scholarship to an Ivy League college was a financial windfall for his parents. He’d made the Dean’s list every semester and was scheduled to graduate with honors.
He’d just closed his eyes when he registered tapping on the door leading into the backyard. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he went to see who it was. Peering through the security eye, he recognized his girlfriend.
Ray opened the door and went completely still when he saw her face. She’d been crying. She fell against his chest, his arms going around her body. He closed the door and led her over to his bed.
“What’s the matter?” Ray cradled the back of her head. “Come on, baby. Talk to me.”
“I’m … I’m pregnant,” she sobbed.
Ray went still, as if he’d been jolted by a bolt of electricity. “What!” She couldn’t be. He’d always used a condom whenever they slept together.
Moisture spiked her lashes as she looked up at him. “I’m having your baby.”
Ray shook his head. “No, Micky, that’s not possible. Every time we slept together, you know I always used a condom.”
Migdalia, or Micky to her family and friends, had become an obsession for Ray the first they shared a bed and, he’d found himself addicted to her. She’d become his drug of choice. And she hadn’t been his first addiction. That was sex.
It was with the onset of puberty when he’d begun masturbating several times a day, but it hadn’t been enough to quell the urges that would happen spontaneously whenever he saw a woman he found physically attractive.
Things changed for him when he met Migdalia Hernandez, who was working at a city hospital while studying to become a dietitian. She was the first girl with whom he’d been able to discuss politics and current events. They’d talked about the Vietnam War, and how drugs were ravaging and destroying Black and Spanish neighborhoods. When he first askedher out, she’d admitted she was seeing a boy who was very jealous, but eventually she agreed to come to his house whenever she wasn’t working. She would come when his family had settled in for the night and stay with him until dawn. He never knew when she was coming, so he installed a telephone in his apartment so she could call before coming over. Once they begun having sex, after she’d broken up with her boyfriend, Ray found himself in over his head, because he found himself craving Micky like an addict looking for his next fix.
“It is possible, because this baby inside of me is yours and you have to marry me.”
Ray shook his head. “If the baby you claim is mine, then we’ll wait until after it’s born to determine the paternity. Meanwhile, get it out of your head that I’m going to marry you.”
Micky sucked in her breath, held it, then slowly let it out. “I’m good enough to sleep with but not good enough to become your wife. Thank you, Ramon Torres, for letting me know what type of man I fell in love with.”
She was up and out the door before Ray could bring his thoughts into any semblance of order. He buried his face in his hands, unable to believe what had just transpired. They’d slept together less than a half dozen times, and there wasn’t a time when he hadn’t used a condom. Maybe her menses was late and she’d assumed she was pregnant. There were so many scenarios crowding his head that Ray felt like screaming at the top of his lungs to release his frustration.
The next day was the first Saturday of the month and his scheduled breakfast meeting with Frankie and Ray. He would wait and talk to his friends about his dilemma.
