However, it wasn’t like that for Cherie, and she knew her brother wasn’t coming back; the bullets from a high-powered automatic weapon had hit vital organs, killing him instantly. Her tall, handsome, kind older sibling, who’d had dreams of enlisting in the military, was murdered a month before his enlistment, and those responsible were never arrested. It was as if the neighborhood upheld the code that snitches get stitches. Even the girl he’d presumably been sleeping with denied she had been involved with him.
Reaching across the table, she grasped Edwina’s hand. “I’m not deserting you, Mama.” She closed her eyes once she realized it had been a long time, much too long, since she’d called her that. “I’m buying a house in North Carolina with enough bedrooms that if you want to come and visit you can.” She said visit rather than live because Cherie knew her mother would never consider leaving Connecticut. She’d been born and raised there, and it was also because of the connections she had with distant relatives and lifelong friends in the neighborhood.
Sniffling, Edwina blinked back tears before they fell. “Why North Carolina? Why can’t you buy a house here in Connecticut? I know you were talking about selling your condo, but I didn’t think you would move a thousand miles away.”
Cherie smiled. “It’s not a thousand, only seven hundred miles. It’s about a twelve-hour drive nonstop.”
“Why North Carolina?” Edwina repeated.
The seconds ticked before Cherie said, “It’s where I feel alive, Mama.”
“Alive? Are you saying you feel dead here?”
A hint of a smile tilted the corners of Cherie’s mouth. “I’m only speaking figuratively. I went to Coates Island on vacation these past two summers, and for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t have to live my life by a clock. I slept and woke whenever it pleased me, and if I decided to spend the entire day in bed reading, that’s what I did. I also met two older women who helped me to see myself in a different light.”
“And what’s that, Cherie?”
“That I should take control of my life and do what is good for Cherie Renee Thompson.”
Edwina blinked slowly. “And you don’t think that’s what you’re doing now? You have a job you enjoy, and you live in a wonderful development that you don’t have to leave for your daily needs. What more could you want?”
“I want to become a teacher.”
“You can’t do that in Connecticut?” Edwina questioned. “After all, you did graduate with honors from Yale.”
“I know that, Mom.”
She didn’t need her mother to remind her that she’d earned a full academic scholarship to the prestigious Ivy League college. But what Edwina failed to realize was that she’d studied around the clock to maintain the necessary grades to not lose the scholarship—and to prove to herself that she was worthy of becoming the wife of the man whom she’d loved more than herself.
“So why don’t you go back there for your graduate degree?”
“I don’t need another degree from Yale to prove that I wasn’t a fluke. I’ve spent the past twelve years working at the same place, and now it’s time that I transition from being a parent coordinator to a classroom teacher.”
“When are you going to hand in your notice?”
Cherie smiled. “I resigned in May.”
Edwina’s jaw dropped. “You’ve been out of work for two months?” Cherie nodded. “Do you plan to get another job while you go back to college?”
“If I work, then it will be part-time. I’d like to become a full-time student and hopefully finish in two years. If not, then I’ll sign up for two courses each semester until I graduate. Of course, I’ll have to do some student teaching and take a test for certification if I plan to teach in a public school. And if I’m really ambitious, then I’ll have to decide whether I want a doctorate degree and perhaps teach at the college level.”
She didn’t tell her mother that teaching in a private school was not an option for her. Spending four years at a private prep school had taught her that if parents had enough money or increased their endowments, teachers were pressured to pass their kids with grades they hadn’t earned.
Cherie realized she’d shocked her mother with the plans for her future. It had taken months after leaving Coates Island the year before for her to reassess her life, and she had concluded she’d been wishing, hoping, and praying for what would never become a reality. She’d fallen in love with Weylin at fifteen and had spent half her life fantasizing spending it with him.
He’d become her first and only lover, and she knew she would never be able to exorcise him completely until she put some distance between them. The place where she could reinvent herself was Coates Island, North Carolina. Cherie would move into her new house, and while she decorated it to her taste, she would reunite with her friends for their monthly book club meetings. She’d also planned to improve her cooking skills. There were so many recipes she wanted to try and perfect before hosting a book discussion.
“I know you don’t hear it enough from me, Cherie, but I truly am proud of you. If I’d had your focus and strength when you left home at fifteen to attend that private school, I doubt whether I would’ve let a boy talk me into sleeping with him without using protection.”
Cherie went completely still before she slumped back in her chair. It was the first time she’d heard Edwina talk about the boys and or men she’d slept with. Whenever she’d asked her about the fathers of her children, Edwina had become mute. It was as if she didn’t want to open the door she’d closed once she’d given birth to her sons and daughter.
“Mama—”
“I know you’ve asked me over and over,” Edwina interrupted, holding up a hand, “about your father and my sons’ fathers, and one of these days I’ll tell you. Once you decide to start a family. But not until then.”
Cherie wanted to tell her it was much too late for that because she’d already given birth to a son. She forced a smile instead. “I see your boss glaring this way.”
Pushing back her chair, Edwina stood, Cherie rising with her. “That’s because my break is over.”
