“What about Kendra? Have you asked her whether she’s willing to share you with me?”
“No.”
“Then I suggest you do, Lamar, because I refuse to become a part of a situation with a girl who resents me because she believes I’ve taken her father from her.”
“I’ll talk to her, but only after we announce our engagement.”
“There’s not going to be an engagement until we work through a few things. First of all, this is happening much too quickly for me, and I’m still trying to sort out my feelings for you.”
“Do you think you could love me?” Lamar asked Nydia.
“Don’t be silly. Of course. Do you realize we still haven’t dated in the traditional sense, and you’re already talking about engagements and marriage?”
Lamar knew she was right. He did not know why he was rushing her into something she wasn’t quite ready for, but he did not want to lose her. “I’m sorry,mi amor. I have no right to put pressure on you, especially after what you’ve gone through with that jackass of an ex-boyfriend. I’ll give you all of the time you need to either accept or reject my proposal.”
Pushing back her chair, Nydia stood up and came around the table. She sat on Lamar’s lap and buried her face against his neck. “You have to know that I’m falling in love with you, otherwise I wouldn’t continue to see you. I haven’t had the best luck when it comes to men, so if it doesn’t work out with us, then I’m done with them.” He listened intently as Nydia told him about the man who’d taken her innocence and then deceived her by not telling her he was married. His mouth covered hers in a healing kiss while silently communicating that she could trust him, that he would love and protect her.
Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and Lamar’s heart turned over when he recognized vulnerability in Nydia for the first time. The beautiful, smart, and sassy woman had just shown him another side of her bubbly personality. And as much as he wanted to make love to her he didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was like this.
“Go to bed, sweets. I’ll take care of all of this.”
Moisture separated her long lashes. “Are you sure?”
He kissed her nose. “Of course I’m sure. Go and relax and I’ll be in soon.”
Nydia slipped off his lap and walked in the direction of the bedroom, his eyes following her retreat. He cursed the men who’d used her for their own selfish motives. Her college instructor and her singer-boyfriend were predators who’d exploited her generosity, and Lamar prayed it would not become a replay with him.
There were times when he wished that he’d remarried, if only to give Kendra a mother, because he did not understand all that went into raising a daughter. Nydia had run down the list that she’d been told when dating, and it had frightened him because of the dangers a young girl could be faced with when dealing with a boy. The year he turned thirteen his father had given him “the talk” about the changes going on in his body and about not having sex until he felt he was mature enough to deal with the consequences if he did get a girl pregnant. Becoming a baby daddy was never a thought for Lamar, and he always made certain to use a condom whenever he slept with a woman. There were several classmates who’d short-circuited their chances of attending college when a girl told them she was pregnant with their baby.
He recalled the time he’d broached the subject of where babies came from with Kendra, as he cleared the table, and she stopped him abruptly when she said the health teacher at school had talked to the girls about their bodies. He’d felt awkward talking to her about sex, and it was the one of the many times he wished Valerie had been alive to have the conversation with her.
Lamar recorked the bottle of wine and stored it in the mini fridge. He’d noticed Nydia’s eyelids drooping before she finished her first glass, and knew it was either the wine or she hadn’t gotten enough sleep.
Picking up the house phone, he dialed the kitchen and requested someone retrieve the dishes he’d placed on the floor outside the door. Unlike some hotels, the staff at the Louis LaSalle had established and maintained a reputation for impeccable lodgings and fine dining.
Lamar glanced at the clock on the microwave. It wasn’t quite eight-thirty and too early for him to go to bed, so he decided to sit up and watch television. He found a channel featuring aBlack-ishmarathon and settled down to watch the entertaining sitcom about a successful black father with a beautiful wife and five children living in an upscale California neighborhood.
After six episodes he turned off the television, retrieved his toiletry bag from the carry-on, and went into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. It was after eleven when he finally slipped into bed next to Nydia. She stirred slightly but did not wake up. Sharing a bed with her seemed as natural to Lamar as breathing. He lay there trying to imagine being married to her, and somehow the images weren’t as clear as he’d hoped they would be. She wanted time and he would give her time, because now that she was going to live in New Orleans, distance was no longer an impediment to their relationship.
* * *
Nydia opened her eyes and saw a sliver of daylight coming through the partially closed bedroom drapes. She shifted and turned over to find Lamar smiling at her. She couldn’t believe she’d slept so soundly that she hadn’t known he was in bed with her.
“Good morning.”
He winked at her. “I was waiting for you to wake up.”
She stared up at him through her lashes, unable to make out his expression in the diffused light. “How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to know that you snore.”
She clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, sweets. I’ve done my share of snoring whenever I drink too much. Where are you going?” he asked when she sat up.
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
Lamar also sat up. “I’ll join you.”
