“I guess that means I’ll have to keep you,” she teased.
“We’re in this together, sweets.”
Nydia wanted to tell Lamar now that they were sleeping together she also intended to see where their relationship would take them. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said after a comfortable silence. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful.”
Lamar reached over and massaged the nape of her neck. “I’m the one that should be apologizing for bringing up Valerie.”
“I can’t pretend that she never existed.”
“That’s true, but I don’t ever want her to come between us, Nydia. Valerie was the first woman I loved enough to want to marry, but when we exchanged vows I never could’ve imagined that we wouldn’t grow old together.”
“She may be gone, but you still have a part of her with Kendra.”
“That’s true,” Lamar agreed, “because she’s definitely her mother’s child in looks and temperament.”
“She’s a delight. I’ve really grown very close to her.”
“Close enough to assume the responsibility of becoming her mother?”
Nydia’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel in a death grip. Her heart was pounding so hard and fast she could hear it in her ears. “What are you asking?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m asking whether you would consider marrying me. I know we haven’t known each other that long and . . .”
“I don’t believe you, Lamar.”
“What don’t you believe?”
“You wait until I’m driving to propose marriage. What happened to going on one knee, or asking my father for his permission for my hand in marriage?”
“I did that already.”
Nydia’s foot hit the brake, and the car came to a screeching stop, causing other drivers to look at her as they sped past. “Dammit,” she swore under her breath.
“Pull over,” Lamar ordered. “I’ll drive.”
Checking her mirrors, she signaled and maneuvered into a bus stop. It took less than a minute for her to exchange seats with Lamar. He adjusted the driver’s seat to accommodate his longer legs and pulled out into traffic. “You’re going the wrong way,” she said when he made a left turn down a one-way street. “My parents live in West Harlem.”
“We’re going to your place, because we need to talk.”
* * *
Nydia didn’t realize her hands were shaking as she attempted to unlock her apartment door. During the ride across town she’d replayed Lamar’s proposal over and over in her head until it had become a litany that made her want to scream. She pushed open the door and walked in, Lamar following. Sitting on the bench seat, she slipped out of her jacket, kicked off her booties, and walked on sock-covered feet to the living room.
She didn’t want to believe he’d gone behind her back and asked her father if he could marry her, while she and Lamar had never talked about cementing their futures. Nydia wondered what was there about her that prompted men to assume just because they’d been intimate that she would automatically accept their marriage proposal without her input? She flipped a wall switch, turning on the table lamps in the living room. Boxes labeled with her name were stacked in a far corner.
* * *
Lamar bent down to unlace his Doc Martens, leaving them on the mat inside the door, and then took off his jacket. In a moment of madness he’d blurted out that he wanted Nydia to marry him without discussing the idea with her beforehand. He did not know why, but there were instances when his confidence waned and he feared losing her.
He followed Nydia into the living room and stared at her ramrod-straight back as she looked out the window. Closing the distance between them, he rested his hands at her waist. She was still, so still that she could’ve been a statue. “Please, come and sit so we can talk.”
Nydia rounded on him, her eyes giving off green sparks. “Now you want to talk? What happened to you talking to me before you went to my father?” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Do you realize you’re like Danny? You both blindside me with marriage proposals. The only difference is you discussed it with my father. Danny would’ve never approached Papi because he knew he didn’t like him.”
Lamar cradled her face between his palms. He hated seeing Nydia vulnerable and close to tears. Lowering his hands, he swept her up in his arms, carried her into the bedroom, and placed her on the bed, his body following hers down.
Burying his face in her curls, Lamar pressed a kiss to Nydia’s scalp. “It was your father who asked me about us, and I was truthful when I told him I was in love with you and wanted to marry you. That’s when he gave me his approval, but only with the proviso that I protect you.”
“Why didn’t we talk about this before?”
