“I foresee a future of me and you tussling, lil’ girl.”
“You get harassed by association. Accept and embrace that.”
I smiled and shook my head at their bantering, but honestly, I loved that they could get along. The three of them held weight in my heart, and if they could love each other, that would do me all the good in the world.
The obstacle course was just as funny as the zip-lining experience. Killian and my sisters really sounded like siblings with their back-and-forth banter. We had such a good time, and I couldn’t wait for more days like this.
Currently, we were on our way to my childhood home to put the battery in Adrienne’s car. It was like a cloud of gloom spread over us as we pulled into the yard. Kennedy was being held without bail, so we didn’t have to worry about her coming out to act a fool.
“We’re gonna grab a few things while you put the battery in,” Adrienne said, taking off the car key.
Killian nodded as he took the key from her and got out of the car. “Are you good?” he asked, looking back at me.
“I’m good. I’ll just wait here.”
“Okay.” He leaned back in the car and pecked my lips before closing the door.
I sat there, staring at the house as my sisters went inside. Memories began to flood my mind of the time I spent here—the things I endured. Part of me felt bitter. Why me? Why did I have to suffer at the hands of a woman who should have loved me? Why would she allow a man who wasn’t our father to stay with us overnight while she wasn’t in the house?
As I sat there brewing in my thoughts, my limbs somehow took on a mind of their own. I opened the car door and got out. I could hear Killian calling my name as I made my way up the front steps, but I couldn’t answer him.
Trembling fingers reached for the knob and turned it to push the door open. I stood in the entryway looking around the place. Kennedy had upgraded the furniture, but all I could see was the living room as I remembered it. Absentmindedly, I walked through the house until I came tothatdoor. My old bedroom. The place where my nightmares were real.
Turning the knob, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside. While the room was now filled with my sisters’ taken possessions, all I could see was my old bedroom.
The iron-framed bed against the wall where my nightmares began.
The mismatched desk where I used to study.
The beanbag chair in the corner where I used to read.
Then I saw the blood…there was so much blood. I could hear myself pleading with Rodney to stop because he was hurting me. I saw the fear in my own eyes as I frantically grabbed those scissors and stabbed him repeatedly. Every time my hand came down, my body shuddered.
I couldn’t breathe. My hand flew to my chest, clutching my shirt. Why was this shirt so tight?
“I–I can’t breathe… I can’t breathe!”
I could hear my sisters behind me, but I couldn’t answer them. Adrienne screamed for Killian, and the next thing I felt was his strong arms around me pulling me out of the room. With my back against the wall, he cupped my face and spoke to me.
“Breathe, baby. Deep breaths. Follow me.”
He began deep breathing, mimicking what I needed to do. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sound of his voice and followed along. After a few minutes, my lungs recovered, and I could breathe again. Opening my eyes, I found the three of them looking at me with worried expressions.
“Are you okay?” Killian asked.
I nodded. I hadn’t had a panic attack in years, and that one felt like it would take me out. Much to my surprise, he picked me up and carried me back outside to the car.
“Why would you go in there, baby?” he asked, voice full of concern. “I was calling you.”
“I’m sorry. I just…I couldn’t stop myself from going in. It’s been so long, I didn’t think it would do me like that.”
“I get that, but don’t relive that trauma if you can avoid it. You’re in a good place. I don’t want you undoing all the work you’ve done on yourself. You’ve worked too hard to come out of a dark place. Don’t give those demons your energy.”
I sighed. “I hear you.”
He cupped my chin and pecked my lips. “I’ll be done in a second, and we can get out of here.”
I nodded. He closed the door, leaving me there with my thoughts. It wasn’t long before the girls were filing out of the house with trash bags of what I assumed were clothes and shoes. Killian grabbed the bags and placed them in Adrienne’s trunk. They went back inside once more and returned with their laptops and tablets then came over to me. They opened the passenger door, leaning in to hug and kiss me.
