She blew me a kiss before heading to the back. I shook my head as I relaxed into my chair. Her words echoed in my head. Did I love Killian? What did that look like? It was sad that as a woman approaching her thirties, I’d never known love outside of family and friendly relationships.
I’d missed out on so much of life and experiences. I didn’t know intimacy with a man that wasn’t filled with trauma. What the hell would I do if he touched me? How would I react? How would my body react? I wasn’t sure what to do with this influx of unfamiliar emotions I was feeling.
“Good morning, baby girl,” Uncle Clive spoke, breaking my thoughts.
I looked up to see him coming through the back door.
“Hey, Uncle Clive.”
I stood and went to hug him. He kissed my forehead before stepping back to look at me with a smile.
“I missed riding to work with you this morning,” he said.
“Right. No morning coffee stops. Did the girls sleep okay?”
“They slept well. I could hear them snoring through the walls,” he added with a chuckle. “How was your first night with Killian?”
“It was fine. His home is beautiful.”
“Are you comfortable there? He make you feel welcomed?”
“I’m comfortable, and yes, he did.”
“You let me know if I need to make other arrangements for you. I mean it. The first time he gives you the wrong vibe—”
“Uncle Clive, I promise Killian is a good person. I’ve known him since school, and he’s always been super nice to me. He’s a great friend.”
“We kiss our friends?”
I blushed, and it caused him to chuckle. “You saw that?”
“I did. But before I saw that, I saw you sitting in that man’s car in front of the house for hours the other week. You don’t even do that with Londyn, and I know you like her, even if it was forced.”
I giggled. “I like him. I just…I’m afraid to say anything. I don’t know how to handle men, Uncle Clive. The closest thing to a man I know is you.”
He laughed out loud. “The closest thing! Damn, baby girl. I at least thought I was a whole man.”
“I’m sorry. Wrong choice of words.”
“I know what you mean. Let me tell you this: When a man is worthy of you, he will make it easy for you to handle him because he will handle you with love, care, and respect. You won’t have to worry about who you are with him or who you need to be. There’s no censorship or guilt about being vulnerable. You simply get to be you.” He cupped my chin and smiled. “You deserve that. If that happens to be with that young man, your aunt and I will support you.”
“Thank you, Uncle Clive, not just for being the best uncle, but the best father figure. I love you, and I’m so grateful for you.”
“I love you, too. Penny and I never got to have our own children, but you and your sisters have always held a special place in our hearts. We’ve got all our girls now—maybe not under the same roof, but we’ve got you.”
We shared another hug. God truly blessed me with him and Aunt Penny. Without them, I had no idea where I would be. I would have had nothing to come home to, nohometo come home to. Prison would have been my home for the next twenty years. I owed them my life.
I wandered around the empty house, giving myself a solo tour. Londyn had dropped me off about twenty minutes ago since Killian was still at work. It was so quiet—too quiet. After ten years of constant noise, when it got too quiet, it made me anxious.
I decided to hook my phone up to the Bluetooth surround sound. As the smooth sounds of “Brown Eyes” by Destiny’s Child blared through the speakers, I rummaged through the kitchen looking for something to cook for dinner. I wanted to earn my keep around here. If the man wasn’t going to let me pay him for rent, the least I could do was make sure he had a hot meal when he walked through the door.
I found some pork chops unthawing in the fridge and decided to smother them along with some mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. I sang along to the music as I moved around the kitchen. While I wasn’t the best singer, it reminded me of all the times I cooked dinner for my sisters, and they would be right there singing and dancing along with me.
I was miserable and still found a way to make the smallest things enjoyable for them. The song transitioned into “Chills” by Fatty Koo, and my singing got louder. I was so into the song that I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me until someone started singing along.
My head whipped around, and I was staring in the face of a woman who resembled Killian. As I looked closer, I recognized her from the pictures in his home as his sister. She smiled and laughed as she approached me.
“You were getting it in here, girl,” she said as I turned the music down. “I didn’t mean to scare you. We were on a walk, and Ellie had to use the bathroom. She knew you were here, and she just had to stop to see you, so I let myself in. I’m Bridget, Killian’s sister.”
