They’d done so much for me already, and I hated to burden them with any more than I already had. I was shocked when they handed me a bank card with my name on it.
Apparently, they had been depositing three hundred dollars into the account every month for the last five years. Uncle Clive told me they always had faith that I would come home, and they wanted me to have something to start me off with. When they showed me the statement, I was overcome with emotion. Between their deposits and earned interest, the balance was almost twenty thousand dollars.
I hadn’t spent much on anything because I’d barely left the house if it wasn’t for work. Today, I decided to finally venture outside. I told Aunt Penny that I was going to take a walk to clear my head. She’d offered to walk with me, but I declined, stating I just needed some time alone. I packed my small crossbody with the phone, bus pass, and bank card she and my uncle had given me and left the house. I didn’t have a destination. I just walked until my feet carried me to the last place I should have been.
My childhood home.
As I sat on the bench across from the house, I just stared at it, memories flooding my mind. I could see me chasing my sisters in the front yard as we played tag. I could see us making snowmen that were melting before we finished because snow in South Carolina never stuck on the off chance we got any. I remembered those hot summer days when I would spray them down with the water hose as their laughter filled the air.
I missed them so much.
My aunt and uncle had tried to reason with my mother to let me see them a few days after I got home, and she cursed them from here to hell. She threatened to beat my ass if I ever came anywhere near my sisters, yet here I was. I wasn’t afraid of her. There wasn’t much that scared me these days about another woman.
I’d been sitting there for a good hour, hoping to get even the smallest glimpse of the girls. There were no cars in the yard, so I wasn’t sure if anybody was home. I felt defeated as I watched the bus rolling to a stop at the corner. It was probably best if I hopped on and made my way home.
Just as I stood to walk to the bus stop, a little red two-door coupe pulled into the yard. I stood frozen as I watched the doors opened, and my sisters got out with their backpacks.
My heart swelled in its cavity.
They’d grown into such beautiful young women. Adrienne favored me so much when I was her age, and Amiyah looked more like our mother. They were laughing and talking as they made their way up the front steps. Their smiles made me smile. Even if it was only a first glance, they seemed to be doing well.
I knew I should have left. I knew I had no business being there, but my feet carried me across the street and into the front yard. Adrienne was busy trying to open the door while Amiyah was snapping selfies on her phone. The moment I came into view, her head spun around. Our gazes met for a moment before she frantically slapped our sister’s arm.
“What, Miyah? Damn.”
Adrienne spun around, and her eyes landed on me. Their stares were piercing as we looked at one another in complete silence. I couldn’t find the words to speak. I’d dreamed of this moment, prayed for it, and now I didn’t know what to say.
“You should leave,” Adrienne said coldly. “Mama is on her way home, and I don’t wanna hear her bitching at us for letting you in.” She tried to open the door, but I stopped her.
“Wait!”
Her hand lingered on the doorknob. Slowly, I made my way up the steps, stopping a few feet shy of them.
“I’ve missed y’all,” I said quietly. “I thought about you every day while I was away.”
Adrienne scoffed. “While you were away? You say that like you just went on vacation. You went to jail. Telling Uncle Clive and Aunt Penny to tell us you love us doesn’t make up for the fact that you abandoned us. You didn’t call. You didn’t write us. You just left us here with Mama.”
I shook my head. “That’s not true. I wrote you, but the letters always came back. I called, and she refused to accept them—”
She cut me off. “It doesn’t matter now. You can’t be here.”
“Adrienne, please,” I begged, tears lacing my voice. “I love you, both of you. Next to Uncle Clive and Aunt Penny, you’re all I have. I did what I did to protect us all. You have no idea what—”
I paused. There was no need to disclose what Rodney had said he’d do to them. I wouldn’t have them bearing any of that guilt.
“I just want to make up for lost time,” I said softly.
Adrienne shook her head. “Mama said we can’t see you. She’s already a bitch most of the time. I’m just trying to survive these last couple of months, and I’m out of this house for good.”
I could see I was fighting a losing battle with her. I turned to my baby sister.
“Miyah?”
She was hesitant, looking between me and Adrienne. I wasn’t sure what she was going to say or if she’d say anything at all.
“Miyah, you already know how Kennedy is,” Adrienne reminded her. “We don’t want no bullshit with her.”
“She’s our sister, Adrienne,” she said softly. She looked back at me. “But she’s right. Mama will have a fit if she finds you here. You know how she likes to go off. I don’t wanna get in trouble.”
