That shut me up.
I’d been silent. I’d suffered for so long, and I was tired.
“Come here, Alayah,” he said firmly.
“No.”
He stood from the bed and moved toward me. “What?”
“I said no. You can’t touch me anymore.”
“Who’s gonna stop me? Your mama? She’ll never believe you. She already thinks you be out here fucking these boys from the neighborhood. You really think she’d believe I did anything to you?”
“I don’t care! You will never touch me again!”
He grabbed me and pushed me up against the desk, bringing his face close to mine. I could smell the liquor on his breath. It was nothing new. He was always drinking.
“Don’t make me hurt you, pretty girl,” he said, stroking my cheek. “I just wanna make you feel good.”
He dropped his hand to the string on my pajama bottoms. No was never an answer. It wasn’t a luxury I had with him.
“Stop playing with me, and take these off.”
“No!”
I mustered up every bit of strength I had and pushed him off me. He stumbled backward, but quickly regained his footing. His eyes were dark as he glared at me, and I knew if I didn’t protect myself, he would seriously hurt me. I fumbled around on my desk for something to defend myself with. My fingers landed on a pair of scissors, and I quickly grabbed them as he charged at me.
As soon as he got close, I raised my hand and stabbed him in the neck. His eyes widened in surprise as he stumbled and stared at the bloody shears in my hand. Something came over me. All the anger and rage I felt for this disgusting man filled me, and all I saw was red. Fueled by anger, I charged at him, stabbing him repeatedly as I screamed like a madwoman.
“You bastard! You’ll never touch me again! Just…fucking…die!”
Over and over, I brought the scissors down on him. I wasn’t even sure where I was stabbing him at this point, I just knew I wanted him dead. His body had long since gone limp, but I kept going. It wasn’t until I heard the screams of my little sisters outside the door.
“Sissy!” Adrienne yelled. “Are you okay?”
“I’m scared!” Amiyah cried.
The knob turned, and I scrambled over to the door to keep them from seeing the horrid sight inside. My pajamas were soaked. When my eyes landed on Rodney’s bloody corpse, I dropped the scissors.
“I’m…I’m okay,” I choked out. “I just had a bad dream. Go back to bed.”
“But—”
“Please go back to bed, girls,” I pleaded. “Please…”
I could hear their little feet retreating down the hall. For the longest time, I sat on the floor, staring at the body with blood pooling around it. What had I done?
I was finally free of the ongoing abuse Rodney had subjected me to, but what was the price I was about to pay?
Chapter 1
Alayah
Present Day
“Inmates! Fall in line!”
I drug myself out of my bunk and slipped on my prison-regulated shoes as the door to my bunk opened. It was 6:00 a.m. and time for showers. Grabbing my toiletries, I stepped out the room and waited for the morning headcount before we headed to the community bathrooms. After showers would be breakfast, then work duty, lunch, yard time, then dinner. We’d have a few hours of downtime before it was lights out, only to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow.
