If she hadn’t ridden her motorcycle today, she’d be drowning her sorrows in fully alcoholic beer right now. As it was, she was still considering getting a few and then taking an Uber home. Esme, the owner of the Lounge, would have no issue with Deb leaving her Kawasaki parked there overnight in the name of safety.
She was still brooding into her drink when a red plastic basket filled with a greasy double decker bacon cheeseburger and spicy gochugaru fries hit her table. Deb looked up to see Sasha Ashford sliding into the booth across from her, grinning from under her red bandana and quiff of dark curls. “Thought I’d deliver this one personally when I saw the ticket come into the kitchen,” Sasha said, her black eyes dancing. “You haven’t been around in a hot minute, Deb! It’s great to see you.”
Sasha was the chef at the Indigo Lounge, but Deb also knew her because they were both members of Pride Riders LA, the biggest queer motorcycle club in Los Angeles. She thought back to the last time she’d seen Sasha and blushed to realize it had been since Pride, months ago. “God, I hadn’t realized it had been so long, Sash. Sorry. How’s Ruby?”
“She’s great, she’s got a book deal—under her name again, finally! And I think this one’s gonna make it so she doesn’thave to ghostwrite those Hetero Highlander romances anymore. It’s really good.” Sasha’s pride in her partner’s accomplishments always shone from her like radiant sunlight. “It’s a lesbian vampire romance, lots of hate and love and sexual tension over centuries. I can’t tell you more, but I promise, it’s amazing.”
“I believe it.” Deb smiled at her friend. She liked Ruby Fierelli’s books, even the Hetero Highlander ones that were published under someone else’s name. Ruby was an incredibly talented writer, and Sasha was an incredibly talented chef. And they loved each other to a degree that made Deb, a closeted romantic, deeply envious.
She had thought she was putting a good face on her bad mood, but Sasha squinted at her in the dim Lounge light, her face concerned. “Hey, Deb, you okay?”
Deb sighed. “Bad day at work. Big semi-truck caused a pileup at Wilshire and Santa Monica. It was pretty gnarly.”
“That all?” Sasha tilted her head.
Deb let very few people into her life enough to be able to really see her. She often bottled things up and let them fester and then explode rather than let anyone see anything from her that could be perceived as weakness. But Sasha was possessed of similar inclinations, though a bit different—she was reticent rather than too proud, keeping her emotions in check as a way to not inconvenience others. Still, her experience allowed her to see Deb’s self-suppression for what it was, and she was always able to see Deb clearly in that regard.
Maybe that was why Deb had really come to the Lounge this evening. Sasha could get her to talk like no one else could, and maybe Deb needed some sage advice after the day she’d had. She took in a deep breath and a sip of her now-flat near-beer. “I mean, I made some bad calls today. You know how I feel about fucking up at work.”
“I do. I’m sorry that happened.” Sasha reached across and grabbed Deb’s hand in one of her strong, burn-scarred chef’s hands. “You didn’t lose anyone?”
“No. No, thank God. I’d never forgive myself if I did.” Squeezing Sasha’s hand back, she pulled away and brushed her wild tumble of curls back away from her face. A quick check of her pockets let her know that, much to her frustrations, she had no hair elastics. Sasha saw her patting herself down and passed over one she had wrapped around her wrist. Deb put her hair up in a sloppy bun. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Sasha went silent, sitting and waiting patiently for Deb to continue.
Deb tried to sort through her thoughts, wondering how to broach the subject of her irritating attraction to Hayley Milton. “Have you ever had… I mean… like, have you ever liked… no. Dammit.” She rolled her eyes at herself and her clumsy way with words. “Listen, Sash. Have you ever wanted to just fuck someone you absolutely hated?”
The bluntness of the question clearly took Sasha aback. Literally, she sat back in the booth and stared at Deb. “Wow, no, sorry, I can’t say I have.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured.” Deb slumped back and picked at her basket of food, which had begun to cool. The spicy French fry she nibbled on was still incredibly delicious, though, as was everything Sasha made.
Sasha was blushing hard enough that Deb could see it even in the very low light of the Lounge. “So… I guess this is a problem you’re having?”
“Unfortunately.” Deb bit into her burger and ripped off a huge bite, chewing furiously. She made sure to chew and swallow thoroughly before going on, though she could clearly see that curiosity was making Sasha practically twitch in her seat. “There’s a nurse at the hospital?—”
“Rose?” Sasha asked, and Deb cringed. She forgot she’d actually ever talked to Sasha about her arrangement with Rose. They really had been hooking up for a while. Maybe too long.
“No. Not Rose. A different nurse. One Idon’tlike.” She popped another fry into her mouth.
Sasha looked intrigued. “Does she like you?”
“Not even a little,” Deb confirmed. “Mortal enemies since day one.”
“Not mortal,” Sasha pointed out shrewdly. “Not if you want in her pants.”
“Fair enough.” She picked her burger back up and tore off another bite. “I don’t really know what to do about it. Getting involved with her would probably be a bad idea. I mean, even assuming she’s into women. I don’t actually know. She seems super straight to me.”
“Uh-huh,” Sasha said, and did her trick again where she lapsed into silence until Deb felt the urgent need to fill it. She hated that she fell for it every time. A therapist would have a field day with her. A therapisthad,actually.
“Anyway, she actually does really seem to hate me, and there’s a lot I can’t stand about her, and I don’t know what to do withanyof it,” Deb confessed in a rush. “I don’t know if I should hit on her and try to fuck it out of my system, or if there’s a way to like, get rid of the attraction. I wondered if you had any helpful advice there.”
“Not a single word of it,” Sasha replied cheerfully. “Sorry. I’ve only ever really been into one person, and that’s Ruby, and I never hated her.”
Deb fell back against the padded purple vinyl booth again. “Right.”
Sasha tapped her chin thoughtfully. “You know, though, I do know someone who’s had experience with that kind of thing. Enemies to lovers or whatever it is.”
“Not lovers,” Deb protested. But Sasha just waved a dismissive hand.
