“I did a summer program there, yes.” Hayley was scanning the menu with interest. “I had a minor in English Lit, and, like, God, there’s no more iconic place to study the subject.” She looked up and grinned. “All my friends went to Barcelona andpartied through their semester abroad. But I was surrounded by old stone buildings and books.”
“And that was more fun for you?” Deb was amazed. And a little jealous. She hadn’t done any kind of semester abroad; her mother hadn’t approved. Though not much of a reader, she thought she still might have kind of enjoyed a summer in England.
“Honestly, yeah.” Hayley was still grinning. “I’m kind of a book nerd.”
Deb remembered her mentioning books when she’d been upset about her patient dying. “You had a book club with that one patient of yours.”
A bit of the light went out of Hayley’s smile, and she looked down at the menu again. “Ernest. Yes.” She took a deep breath. “But I do that with any patient who’s interested, really. They’re in my unit for so long, sometimes. It gives them something to look forward to.” Her gaze met Deb’s. “You probably know how important it is to give our patients hope in the ICU. Interest. Motivation.”
“It makes sense. They’ve probably endured some trauma or been sick a long time.” Deb smiled a bit. “We don’t have our patients for long enough to do anything like that. Our motivation usually consists of barking at them to stay with us, keep fighting, that kind of thing. Adrenaline-fueled more than hope-fueled.”
Hayley gazed at her for a moment, then set her menu aside. “I know what I want.” She clasped her hands together and leaned forward, bringing her face and Deb’s close enough that Deb found herself fixated on Hayley’s plump, pink mouth. Hayley kept talking, but Deb heard none of it.
Silence fell between them. It took Deb a moment to realize Hayley’s mouth had stopped moving. She sat back, blushing. “Sorry. What was that?”
“Wow. Really?” Hayley sat back. “You weren’t listening to me?”
She looked deeply annoyed, and Deb thought about poking the bear of their on-and-off enmity to see if it sparked the fire she liked a little too much.Probably a bad idea, she decided, with some small regret. Hayley was cute when she was angry. Sadly, Deb wanted this evening to go well, so she took a deep breath and went the adult route. “I apologize. I got distracted by, um…”I can’t tell her I was fixated on her mouth, Jesus!“…how pretty you look.”
Nice save, self.
Hayley flushed a pretty pink. “Oh. Um. Thanks. You look good, too.” She picked the menu back up, opened it, put it back down, and shoved it away. “I, uh, I know what I want.”
“You said.” Deb was enjoying the fluster. It was so uncharacteristic of the Hayley she was familiar with. She was, however, in danger of being distracted again. “You were saying something else, though. I think.”
“I was?” Hayley frowned and bit her lip as she thought, which, again, was incredibly distracting. Deb almost longed for the days when they’d had to wear masks in public. Not for everything that had gone along with it, just… just the masks. Oh, well.
She forced herself to focus. Just in time. “Oh!” Hayley nodded. “I was asking if that was what drew you to emergency medicine. The adrenaline.”
“In a sense,” Deb replied slowly, ice threading through her veins at the thought of explaining her anxiety and how it tied into her career.Nope. “I liked the fast pace. The thinking on my feet.” She chose her words carefully, knowing they were all true, but skirting around the issue they surrounded. “I mean, I don’t hate the adrenaline.”
“The motorcycle rider likes adrenaline, surprise.” Hayley chuckled. “And that’s another question! How can you, as an ER doc… as the chief! How can you bring yourself to get on one of those monsters?”
“Take a ride with me sometime and you’ll see,” Deb drawled, with a wink. It was a spontaneous suggestion, but she found she liked the idea. She’d never take Hayley out dressed as she was now, unprotected. But the vision of her pressed up against Deb’s back in the floaty blue dress, the hem of the skirt whipping around her knees as they zoomed up the PCH on a sunny summer day… oh, that had its appeal. Deb’s mouth went dry. Where was their waitress?
As if summoned by the thought, a tiny, aproned brunette with a high ponytail appeared tableside, ink pen poised over her notebook. “So sorry for the delay! Can I get you started with some drinks?”
“I’d like a Diet Coke,” Deb volunteered. “Did you see something you liked, Hayley?”
“Are all the drinks named after famous queer women?” Hayley asked in excitement, tapping her finger on the drinks card. “I love this place so much! Let’s see, can I have an Eilish Envy, please?” She looked at Deb, almost bouncing in her seat. “I love Midori.”
Deb filed that little tidbit away. The woman liked books, melon-flavored drinks, and pretty blue dresses covered in flowers. If Deb hadn’t already wanted in her pants, she extra did now.
Hayley reached across the table and filched a spicy fry out of Deb’s basket. “You’ve never left the country? Ever? Not even to visit family in Mexico?”
“I don’t even have a passport,” Deb confirmed. “We didn’t have money for traveling. Everything Mom earned that she didn’t spend on us, went to her sisters and cousins in Guadalajara. I busted my ass to get as many scholarships and loans as I could to pay for college.” She shrugged. “Now, I have money, but no time. So I stick to traveling the U.S. I mean, it’s a huge country and I haven’t seen all of it! Hell, I haven’t seen all of California yet, and I’ve lived here since I was a resident.”
“I haven’t seen all of California yet, and I’ve lived here my whole life.” Hayley assured her. “I don’t know if we’re missing much.”
As payback for the fry, Deb reached across the table and stole a chip off of Hayley’s nearly-demolished plate of black bean nachos. “Easy for you to say, globetrotter.” She grinned, and Hayley grinned back.
Dinner had gone well, she thought. It was nice, not fighting with Hayley. She felt that there was still a spark there even though they were having a pleasant evening.
She was almost disappointed that it was going to end soon. The DJ was finishing her setup on the stage, and the show would begin within fifteen minutes. The music pealing out of the Lounge’s overhead speakers had already shifted from some retro Lilith Fair folky stuff to more ambient house-y electronica, and the overhead lighting was starting to glow pink and purple. Racking her brain, Deb tried to think of a way to extend the night, somewhere else they could go. She wanted to stay and dance, but she found that she wanted to spend time with Hayley more. “Do you want to go somewhere else for dessert? The DJ is about to start, it’s gonna get a little nuts in here.”
To her surprise, Hayley looked at her like she was crazy. “What? We’re not staying for the set?”
“Do youwantto stay for the set?” Deb asked, amazed. “You’re into techno stuff?”
