“Bye, Mr. Timber,” Faith whispered with tears streaming down her sweet face.
The image would haunt me for the rest of my life.
“Elle, Faith, please, I love you. Please don’t do this to me...” I wept as Elle walked away with her daughter and didn’t turn back. “I won’t give up on you! Never!”
My girls didn’t answer me, and I watched them go. I fell to my knees, sobbing in anguish for all I had lost as people passed by and showed me no remorse, but I didn’t fault them. I had no one to blame except myself.
A once bitter man turned cheerful all in the name of love, seeking forgiveness. Nothing would stop me. I’d grovel after Elle till the end of the earth.
FORTY
Carnations of Forgiveness
Noelle
“We should go back, Mommy...” Faith pouted at me in the rearview mirror as I drove down the street. “Mr. Timber is so sad.”
“Me too, Faith. Me too,” I whispered as I brushed away more tears with the back of my hand, and the car swerved. “But I can’t go back, sweetie. He hurt me too much.”
“But he’s sorry, Mommy...” Faith peered down at her hands and tears fell down her cheeks. “You told me when someone is sorry and they mean it, you forgive them.”
Damn it.I had taught my daughter the act of forgiveness. A complex human behavior we all had to deal with in our lives, but I wasn’t ready to excuse Jack for all he had done. I didn’t know whether I could ever forgive him.
“Forgiveness takes time, and actions speak louder than words, sweetheart. Mr. Timber can’t apologize, and suddenly everything is okay again. He has to prove himself and show us how sorry he truly is,” I explained.
“How can Mr. Timber show us he’s sorry if you told him to stay away?” Faith asked as I pulled into the driveway, and she unbuckled her seatbelt.
Faith was right.How could Jack seek forgiveness when I’d dismissed him?
“I don’t know. I—” Faith gasped overtop of my voice.
“Mommy, look!” Faith pointed straight ahead at our front porch.
Hundreds of carnations of every color were outside our front door. There was only one explanation for this grand display of affection. Jack.
I clenched my teeth. “I have a funny feeling Mr. Timber will not listen to Mommy.”
Faith opened her door. “They are so beautiful!” she exclaimed and slammed the door.
My daughter ran for the flowers that were in full, hardy winter bloom, and she grabbed a giant bouquet as big as her head. She sniffed them as I got out of the car, and my boots crunched on the icy ground. Faith ran up to me with excited wide eyes, holding a piece of paper in her hand.
“There’s a note, Mommy.” Faith handed me the paper. “What does it say?”
I studied the note word for word.
For the thousand times I’ve hated you, love bloomed ten times more. Each flower represents the devotion I have for you. Forgive me, Elle. I can’t live without you.
Then I read the letter to my daughter, and she made anawsound. Faith ran back to the flowers while I couldn’t stop staring at a damn piece of paper. The verse was beautiful, breathtaking, but not enough. Jack had broken my heart more than once, and thousands of flowers wouldn’t change the harm he had done.
“Faith! We should head inside!” I called out.
“Does this mean we can forgive Mr. Timber?” Faith asked.
I walked up to Faith, and she handed me a flower. The carnation was lovely. Blue as the snow on a chilly winter morning. I tossed the blossom onto the ground.
“No, he’s going to have to do better than flowers,” I replied with my hand on Faith’s shoulder. “Let’s go get you cleaned up and ready for bed.”
“But I don’t want to go to bed. I want to collect some flowers to keep,” Faith pouted. “They are pretty.”
