Faith smiled through the tears and wrapped her arms around me. She squeezed me tight, and my eyes watered, but I wouldn’t dare let a single tear fall. My daughter was rightful of my strength, not my weakness. I’d save my sorrow for when she wasn’t around.
“Okay, Mommy. I will try my best,” Faith whispered in my ear.
I yanked a tissue out of the Kleenex box.
“Good.” I pulled back with a smile and dabbed the tissue at her eyes. “No matter what happens, you will always be the best to me.”
“Thanks, Mommy.” Faith gave me a small smile.
Faith turned the chair back around, and she stared at her reflection. She wore a mask to paint over the sadness lurking in her mind, and I hoped this wouldn’t affect her performance. Disappointment etched into her forehead with wrinkled lines of worry, and her beautiful eyes had a hint of pain.
I wanted to take Faith into my arms and never stop holding her—walk away from the concert, but the show must go on. My daughter had the courage to brave the storm, and I could too.
When the drama teacher called Faith out to take the stage, she beamed brightly, and I admired her. She blew me a kiss, and I caught the affection in my hand as she headed off behind the curtain. It was showtime.
Luckily, I found a seat close to the front. The crowd quieted around me when the stage lit up. The curtains opened, and my heart pounded in my ears as I saw my little girl. She was centered in the middle of the stage, the light beaming on her, and her eyes twinkled while she got into character. This was no longer my daughter, but a girl who loved Christmas more than anything else in this world, and her reality had changed. Christmastime wasn’t the same, and she sparkled with wonder as the music fell over the audience, but no voice came.
My daughter froze up, her eyes full of fright, and my biggest fear had come true. The disappointment had won. Faith stood there overwhelmed by everything, and she couldn’t sing. She had forgotten the lyrics.
The music cut. Confused chatter fell over the crowd, and Faith searched for me with frightened eyes. I stood up, ready to save my child from humiliation, but a commotion came from the other side of the stage.
“Kiddo!” A furry green character called out while waving his hands. “Over here.”
Faith smiled the biggest grin, and she gave a thumbs up. Gasps fell over the crowd, but the music came back on, and the sound of my daughter’s sweet voice came to life. Along with another offbeat melody I never thought I’d hear again.
Jack.
Tears welled up in my eyes as Jack sang with my daughter, all dressed up in character, and he didn’t give a shit who watched him. He was there for Faith. Jack hadn’t broken his promise.
THIRTY-NINE
Down on my Knees
Jack
Icame dressed to not fucking impress, all greedy and green. I was in full costume, ready for the act of a lifetime—except this wasn’t some made-up bullshit, but my life. I was as much of a jerk as the fuzzy, grouchy character I impersonated, but I was at this concert to make things right. People could stare and point, but I didn’t give a flying fuck. I was there to stop screwing up my life.
I had assured Faith I’d be at her play to watch her perform, but my dumbass choices had gotten in the way. I had been selfish, putting my relationship with Gabriel first, when I had made an obligation to his granddaughter and had done nothing but hurt her. I’d tossed Elle and Faith’s feelings aside and put my greed before love.
No longer would I make the mistake of denying the truth.My girlscame first. I’d prove my worth.
I disguised myself in character with the plan of surprising Faith and earning back her trust. To let her see I was a changed man because of her, but as soon as I saw Faith take the stage, I immediately sensed something was out of place. She tensed up; the joy left her eyes, and she experienced stage fright.
I jumped into action without a second thought and made my whereabouts known. The elation on Faith’s sweet innocent face, all dolled up, made my heart hammer in mychest erratically, and the biggest fucking grin spread over my made-up face. The dried cosmetics were incredibly itchy, but I couldn’t be happier. When the music began a second time with her melody right on beat, I didn’t miss the opportunity to join in.
I sounded horrendous, but Faith outshone me through every terrible tune. She fixed my heart and stitched up the broken pieces. All I needed was her Mommy to heal me with her love, and I hoped to fucking God I hadn’t destroyed it. I’d do anything to earn her devotion.
Faith sang her heart out, and she followed everything we had practiced together. She danced to the music and made eye contact with the crowd. She was a true talent who had earned her place up on the stage as she finished up her act and took a bow. The outpouring of cheers and love for her performance was intense.
“Yes!” I pumped a fist high into the air.
I was damn proud of Faith. She had faced her fear. She hadn’t let the monsters destroy her, and she gave me the willpower to beat my inner beasts, but I had to accept the fact Elle might not forgive me. I could lose her, and the thought terrified me.
Before the curtains shut, I made a mad dash to get backstage. I had to catch Elle before it was too late. I had wasted enough time on petty bullshit, and I had to make everything right.
A crowd of people had formed behind the scenes, with parents congratulating their kids on a job well-done. My big belly full of fluff bumped against bodies as I pushed my way through, and my eyes fell on Elle. Goddamn it, she wasbeautiful. Her eyes shimmered with happiness as she peered down at her daughter, full of pride, and she hugged her tight.
Elle had done an amazing job raising such a wonderful human being. I was fucking proud of her and tears glistened in my eyes. I wanted to express all the emotions this woman made me feel, but I was too overwhelmed. I did the only act of public affection I could think of.
