I uncrossed my glare and went back to staring at Faith. Tears collected in my eyeballs, blurring my focus, and as quickly as this competition started, it was over. I fucking lost.
Faith leaned back, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and cracked a wide grin. She rubbed her win in my face. Christ, she was cocky, but she wouldn’t stop staring.
“What?” I shrugged.
“You’ve got gray whiskers.” Faith pointed at me.
“Yeah. So?” I rubbed my beard. “I’m old.”
“Why don’t you have kids?” Faith asked me.
I was too grouchy for little shits running around was the answer I wanted to give Faith. The response was the harsh truth, but inappropriate for a third grader. Kids repeat everything. I had to be careful or else her mom would come banging on my door.
“I never wanted kids,” I answered.
Faith narrowed her eyes. “Why not?”
“Why the twenty questions?” A moment passed, but Faith kept the pressure on, and I sighed. “I never found the right woman to raise children with.”
Suddenly, the mood in the air tensed. Faith peered down at the floor, and she stopped swinging her legs. Something was wrong.
“My mommy and daddy had me, but they aren’t together anymore.” Faith pouted as her eyes glistened, and she gazed back up at me. “And Daddy never has time for me. He’s always working or busy on his phone.”
Crap. My big, dumb, honest mouth. This poor kid was going to cry, and it wasn’t even my fault. Her lousy excuse for a father got me into this damn predicament, and I had to be the one to get myself out of this shitty situation.
I stood up and took a seat beside Faith.
I patted Faith on the back a few times. “There. There.”
Jesus. Pathetic.Could I be any more goddamn lame?
A tear rolled down her cheek.
“He’s always too busy for me!” Faith cried as she stared straight ahead.
Too busy being a fucking loser.
“I’m sure he’ll change as time goes on,” I reassured Faith, but I was a dick for fibbing.
“He’ll never change. Never!” Faith sobbed louder.
Unexpectedly, Faith fell against me. The closeness caught me off guard, and I didn’t know what I should do with my damn arms. I felt like an idiot seated next to her with my arms outstretched in the air, and I did the only thing I knew to do. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tiny body close. She sobbed against me, and my heart sankwhile she wailed for a father she had always wanted but had never received.
In an instant, something changed inside of me. The bitter organ I had kept closed off burst wide open for this small human, and I gave a shit about her. I fucking cared. I honestly felt awful, and I wanted to make everything right.
Faith’s sobs quieted.
I asked, “Feel better?”
Faith lifted her head and peered up at me.
“Yes.” She hiccuped. “Thank you.”
It was Faith’s turn to wrap her arms around me, and she squeezed me into a bear hug. The comfort of her innocent embrace sent warmth through me, pushing all the bitterness aside for a couple of seconds, and she smiled up at me. Her big brown eyes were bloodshot from crying, but she wiped her tears away and pulled back.
There was a giant wet spot on my shirt.
Normally, I’d curse. I’d throw a fucking fit and slam a fist down, but I didn’t. I didn’t give a rat’s ass because this harmless child had given me something I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
