“READY FOR WHAT?”
“I’M READY TO BE A MOTHER!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” I repeated.
“I’M READY TO BE A MOTHER!”
“WHAT KIND OF MOTHER?”
“THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!”
“AND WHAT KIND OF BABY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE?” I asked.
“A HAPPY BABY!”
“HOW HAPPY?”
“THE HAPPIEST BABY IN THE WORLD!”
“SAY IT LOUDER!” I encouraged her.
“THE HAPPIEST BABY IN THE WORLD!”
We went on like this until Jack opened the door, asking, “What the hell is going…?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Naya shrieked, so loud that Jack panicked and ran straight into the bookshelf, knocking several volumes to the floor. Naya shook her arms, letting out the adrenaline, and said with a smile, “Jenna, this really works!”
“See? All you had to do was blow off a little steam!”
“You’re the best!”
Jack was cowering like a frightened animal when Sue walked in, looking livid. “Who the hell’s getting murdered in here?”
“Seriously,” Mike said from behind her. “Our neighbors came downstairs to complain.”
“Naya was just letting out some bad energy,” I explained.
“You guys should try it!” she added enthusiastically.
Sue started to say, “This is bullsh—” but before she could finish, we heard Mike bellowing like a dying buffalo. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Jack stuck his fingers in his ears.
“You dumbass, you scared the shit out of me,” he said.
Mike, enthusiastic, shouted, “It really does work! Jen, you try!”
Jack, trying to make peace, announced that if one more person tried to…
I sucked in a breath and screamed as loud as I could. My throat ached when I was done. Naya and Mike applauded. Jack and Sue shook their heads. That was when Will came around the corner, panting.
“Naya, are you all right?” he said. “I was on the roof smoking and I heard the screams. Did your water break or something?”
“They’re just relieving tension,” Mike said. Will couldn’t believe his ears.
“It works,” Naya told her boyfriend. “I feel a hundred percent better. I’m ready to take on the world! I’m not going to let that dumb stove beat me! I’m going to go make another batch of cookies!”
As she skipped away, everyone else in the room turned and scowled at me.
That night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I wondered if helping Naya had been such a good idea. I could hear her grunting and groaning, telling Will all the nasty things she wanted him to do to her. It had been better when they were fighting and everyone could finally get a good night’s sleep.
