“I don’t have your number.”
“How is that possible?”
She didn’t answer and turned away, almost blushing. Then I understood. “Let me guess. Monty made you erase all your old contacts.”
“He didn’tmakeme do anything, Jenna. I do what I want.”
“Sure. Tell me something, then: last year, when I left, were you guys already together? Is that why you stopped answering my calls?”
“It’s complicated.”
I’d always suspected, of course. I’d been too blind to see what was obvious, or else I hadn’t wanted to see it. Later, when she wasn’t around to defend herself, I’d preferred to tell myself everything was Nelle’s fault, because I wasn’t ready to admit the reality that Monty was a bad person. Plus, he was scary, and she wasn’t, and instead of confronting him, I tookthe coward’s path, the easy path, believing him when he swore that it was Nelle who had seduced him because she was sly and underhanded and had never really been my friend.
That was easy to believe because Nelle had always been above me, she was never insecure, she was number one. Not that any of that was really true. Everyone feels insecure sometimes. Everyone has their weak side. The only difference is she hid it better than I did.
As I thought of all those things, it was hard to stay angry at her. I looked over, and what I felt wasn’t anger, but pity. She reminded me of myself.
She didn’t like me analyzing her, though, and defensively, she hissed, “What is it? You want to tell me to leave him?”
“That’s not my place, Nelle. You’re an adult. You have to make your own decisions.”
“You’re exactly right. And my decision is, I’m staying with Monty.”
“If you think that’s the best thing you can aspire to, then go for it.”
I’d touched a nerve. “You wish you could aspire to something as good as Monty,” she said. Before she could go on, I stood and went inside. That was the best thing for both of us. It wasn’t long before I bumped into her parents. They looked older and much wearier than the last time I had talked to them. I had nothing against them. They were actually some of the only people we knew who had believed my accusations against Monty.
The reception dragged on, but I was done making nice with people. I sat on the couch next to Sonny and across from Steve, who was drinking a beer in the armchair and staring off into space. Sonny touched my knee softly and tried to smile, and I spent a while just staring at his scarred knuckles.
“I wish these people would fuck off so we could play some video games,” Steve murmured.
“Is this really the time to be killing ogres?” I asked.
“What else am I going to do? It’s a good stress reliever. I need it.”
“He’s telling the truth,” Sonny interjected. “The thing is, though, everyone here’s nosy as shit, if we turn the TV on, they’ll be gossiping for weeks about how little respect we have for the dead.”
I noticed someone new walking in and nearly cursed. I couldn’t take playing the hostess any longer. But this wasn’t some stranger who had known my grandmother or someone who remembered me from when I was a kid, someone who had popped in to be seen so everyone would say they had done their duty. No, it was someone I knew well, someone who’d had to catch an airplane to get there. I jumped up, and Jack looked over at me. He had deep bags under his eyes and messy hair, and his skin was much paler than usual. At any other moment, I would have been worried about him, but just then, I could only worry about myself. I ran over and hugged him.
“I can’t believe you came,” I said. I hoped it didn’t sound like a reprimand, because I couldn’t have been more grateful. I didn’t see his expression, but I think he understood that.
“Yeah,” he said, “I don’t know. I just had this image in my head of you running around making everyone else feel better, and I told myself someone needed to make sure you were OK, too.”
“What if I told you the only thing that would make me feel better was punching out every single person in this room?”
“I’d go outside and start the car first, so I could be your getaway driver once you’d done it.”
Looking worried, he continued, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there yesterday. I needed to clear the air with Vivian, so I went to her party. I didn’t do anything wrong, though, I swear. I’m trying to be better. I listened to your message, too. I got in before midnight! But you had already left. They told me you packed your bags and caught a car like ten minutes after you got off the phone…”
“The important thing is we’re here,” Naya interrupted him, poppingup behind him like a ghost. Will was with her. I don’t know how I hadn’t seen them. Jack was one thing. I wouldn’t say I expected him to be there, but it was the kind of thing he’d do. He loved a grand gesture, but the other two…they had really gone the extra mile, and it was all I could do not to break down in tears.
Will noticed, and he pulled me in for a hug, and Naya joined in, too. I opened my eyes halfway through it and saw how many people were looking at us. I couldn’t have cared less. But then my mother ran off into the kitchen. Jack noticed too, but he kept his thoughts to himself.
Will asked how I was. Finally, someone was askingmehowIwas for once. I admitted I didn’t know. Everything had happened so fast. Naya nodded, a bit uncomfortable. Sorrow and mourning weren’t really her thing. And she added, to lighten the mood, “We had to leave the apartment in Sue and Mike’s hands, if you believe that.”
“It’s fine,” Jack joked. “We don’t need to worry about it because they’ll have probably burned it to the ground before we get back.”
“Two presumed terrorists are responsible for the explosion of a building…” Naya spoke in a newscaster’s voice, and Jack laughed and said, “Exactly.”
