It did hurt, but I didn’t want to let on, so I nodded and tried not to wince. A bit later, Naya said we should go to the movies. I was sure shewas just trying to come up with something Jack would be into, and he was almost always up for the movies. But this time, he surprised us by saying no, that he wasn’t in the mood.
Even Will found that strange. Jack turned away, seeming to look for an excuse but not finding one. “Whatever,” he mumbled eventually, and came along unenthusiastically. Will drove, and Jack sat with me in the back, looking like he was falling asleep the whole time.
When we were halfway there, I told him, “If you’re not feeling well, maybe you should go back home.”
He shook his head without looking over.
It was a cold day, colder than usual, and I was wearing my coat and my favorite scarf. Will and Naya were bundled up, too, but Jack just wore a light jacket. He’d been doing that a lot lately. It was like he just didn’t care about himself. His nose was red, and he rubbed it and closed his eyes. He was stressing me out so much, I decided to just look at the landscape through the window. Jack’s phone rang. Not wanting to be nosy, I ignored it as he stared at the screen.
“Who is it?” Will asked.
Rubbing his nose again, Will said, “My manager.”
“Shouldn’t you respond?”
Instead of saying anything, Jack just closed his eyes. There was a quick exchange of glances in the car. No one knew what to do.
Will parked far from the entrance. As I was rewrapping my scarf, I saw Jack leaning on the hood to catch his balance. He knew I’d seen him, and he overdid his reaction, standing up very straight. Will had noticed the whole thing, too, and grimaced.
“Let’s go see what’s on,” Naya said, to break through the tension.
Jack somehow made it all the way to the theater, but he was weirdly fidgety, sticking his hands in his pockets, taking them back out, and scratching his scalp. He refused to look at me, which bothered me, and itbothered me to see him like this. There was no denying it: something bad was going on. Jack looked like a shadow of his former self.
For the first time since I’d returned, I asked myself whether he’d always be like this: if every time we took a step in the right direction, he would immediately step back and stumble. Because if that was the case, I didn’t know if I could take it, if I could just stand by and watch it happening. Maybe the Jack I thought I knew was a fantasy, and if he was, it would be better to leave. Because then, at least I’d have my memories.
As we looked at the titles of the films playing that day, a group of girls stared at us and whispered. Did I know them? I doubted it, but anyway, it wasn’t just them. Other people were gawking and murmuring, too. I looked down—was there something wrong with my clothes? Was there something in my hair? My friends didn’t seem to have realized anything was out of the ordinary. They just squinted at the posters and tried to decide what to watch.
“How about a romance flick?” Naya said with an innocent smile as Will hugged her from behind.
“Jesus, no,” Jack grumbled.
They turned to me for help, but I didn’t want to be a part of this debate. I didn’t care. I was just worried about the people there staring at us. Then it hit me: it wasn’t us; what they were obsessed with was Jack. It was the same story as with the girl at the hospital the day before. Jack had been on the news, in magazines, all over Instagram and Facebook. I had nearly forgotten he had a movie coming out, but it was supposed to be one of the biggest hits of the season. Of course, people recognized him. Especially here, at a movie theater. We had walked him straight into the eye of the storm.
Two girls came close, one holding up her phone. They didn’t even bother to ask permission to record him, they just did it and giggled. Jack pretended it wasn’t happening.
“Let’s do the mystery,” I blurted out, trying to put an end to the torture. “Jack and I will buy tickets while you guys get drinks. See you inside?”
Jack looked relieved as we walked in. But that didn’t last long. No sooner than we’d sat down did people start peeking up from their seats, making remarks under their breath. Jack sank down and pretended not to notice, but he was clearly about to jump out of his skin. I couldn’t blame him. Did these people not know how to behave? It was so rude! Two guys were talking so loud, I was pretty sure they wanted Jack to hear them and join in.
This wouldn’t end well. That much I already knew.
The two guys were seated directly in front of us and turned around every thirty seconds. It was getting on my nerves, and I was supposed to be the one worrying about Jack. Jack stared straight at the screen, but his jaw and fists were starting to clench. When one of the guys pulled out his phone shamelessly, I decided I’d had enough, but before I could say anything, Jack stopped me, saying, “Jen, just let it go.”
I tried to. I really tried. But even Naya and Will started to get on edge. We couldn’t watch the movie without the guys in front of us pointing their phones at us like we were animals at the zoo. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I asked Jack in a whisper, “You want to go outside?”
“What about the movie?” he asked with a curious look on his face.
“I hate it,” I lied. In fact, I hadn’t even been able to look at it.
I stood, told him to follow me, and was surprised when he actually did. Everybody in the theater turned to watch us go. Naya and Will stood, too, but I motioned for them to stay put. I didn’t really know what I was going to do, I just needed to get Jack out of there. As we walked down the hall, we saw an emergency exit, and without thinking, I asked, “Do you think it will go off if we push the door open?”
Jack grinned and said, “There’s only one way to know.” I shouted that I wasn’t ready to go to jail, but he’d already run past me. Fortunately,nothing happened. He held the door, and I walked out into a stairwell. It was dark and cold, but Jack seemed fine in his leather jacket as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it and we sat on a step.
“Does that happen to you a lot?” I asked.
He hesitated, blew out a breath, and nodded. “Almost always. Especially at the movies.”
“Why’d you agree to come then?”
