“It rains too much in May.”
“How about April?” I asked.
“Yeah, April, I like that. Mid-month, though, when it starts to get warmer. The sixteenth, maybe. Does that sound good?”
He smiled like an angel as I agreed, “Yeah, April sixteenth sounds good.”
“Well, that’s one thing we can clear off our plate,” I told him.
“Great,” he said. “Good night.”
Weirdly, he was calm, and he managed to fall asleep without much trouble. I wasn’t so lucky. I felt hysterical thinking about the pregnancy,but I tried to talk myself into happiness: I thought how beautiful Jane and Owen were and reminded myself I really wanted children… I was older than Naya and Shannon had been when they gave birth. What did I have to worry about? And yet…
By one in the morning I couldn’t take it anymore, so I threw on some clothes and stole Jack’s car to drive to the nearest Walmart, a half hour away. A while later, I was back in the bedroom, tugging Jack’s shoulder softly. At last he woke. “Wh-what the…?”
“Come, Jack. It’s urgent.”
He struggled out of bed for a few seconds before following me out like a mummy, only opening his eyes once we were out in the hall. “Why are you dressed?” he asked.
“I went to get a test. Now lower your voice or you’ll wake Mike.”
I walked him into the bathroom. Shut the door. Sat on the lid of the toilet. Pointed to the test, which was on the edge of the sink. As Jack’s eyes widened, I told him, “There’s a minute left.”
“A minute,” he said. “OK. I can survive a minute. Everything’s fine. No matter what, everything’s fine.”
Ordinarily, I would have smiled at him. This time, I just couldn’t.
“What will you do if it’s a no?” I asked.
“Jen, I’m more than happy to keep trying as many times as you need.”
“And if it’s a yes?”
“I guess we’ll go buy a crib and I’ll go on eBay to see if anyone’s sellingKill Billbaby sheets.”
I shook my head. “I’m being serious, Jack.”
“Trust me, I’m being serious, too. If it’s just you and me, I love that. But if there’s a little Jay or a little Ellie in that belly of yours, then you’ll be making a dream come true for me. Now is that minute up yet?”
“Forty seconds, Jack.”
“What if we had three kids?” he asked.
I chuckled nervously. “I’m not even sure if I wantone.”
“Come on, now! One’s nothing. Five is too many, obviously. But two is too few. Look at me and my brother. I’m sure the fact that there were just two of us left lasting psychological damage. So we’re talking about three or four. Unless you want six. Seven, obviously, is out. Seven’s an unlucky number…”
“Three, Jack. Three’s my limit.”
“Fine. What should we name the third? Rufus? We could call him Roo-Roo. It would be cool.”
“You’ve had a lot of stupid ideas,” I said, “but that is possibly the worst one ever.”
“Tyler, then.”
“Tyler could work. Now shut up. This thing is ready, but I don’t know if I’m ready to look at it.”
Jack could tell how worried I was as I looked at the time on my phone. He brought a hand to his chest. “I’ll tell you one thing, Jen. I’ve never prayed in my life, but I’m praying now.”
