“No… I mean, sort of. I’m excited for us to live together out here, but…”
“You’re not ready to say goodbye to everyone?”
I nodded. After a second’s thought, Jack proposed, “Why don’t we do this: we’ll wait till you graduate and then we’ll see how we feel. The commute would be a huge headache anyway.”
That I thought I could accept. I looked forward to enjoying my final months of living together with my friends, just taking it easy. But of course, that was the farthest thing from reality. I had an internship, final projects, exams, and when I had a free second, I usually wanted to paint or talk to someone from my family on the phone. And that left little time for hanging out.
Jack was up to his ears in work. He and Vivian were writing a script together and would spend hours in the bedroom with the door shut, coming up with ideas and characters. I sometimes painted in there while they were doing so, and once or twice I threw out an idea of my own.
Jane was out of her screaming phase, so we were finally able to sleep at night, and with so much to do, we’d pass out as soon as we lay in bed. Then, every morning, the alarm would go off at six, and the whole cycle would start over again. Jack and I barely even had time for each other outside of the holidays and family events.
My birthday was so close to Jane’s that we decided to celebrate them both on the same weekend, inviting everybody out to the lake house. There was only one rule: nobody was allowed to do any work. I had a great time. We all did, I think. I was twenty-three now, and Jane was two. The poor thing ate so much cake that her stomach hurt for a week.
I remember how funny it was when Mike got the idea to build a bonfire, and for some incomprehensible reason decided to ask Naya to help him out. They went for wood, which they piled up sloppily on the lawn before spending ten minutes trying to light one corner of a log. Jack and I went out to check on them. The smoke had blackened their faces, and Naya had burned her thumb. We shook our heads as Will came to the rescue.
“You know, guys, the usual approach is to start with some twigs or newspaper…”
Mike and Naya exchanged confused glances, and Naya said, “I guess that makes sense.”
Mike said, “Not to me. Wood’s wood, what’s it matter how big it is?” Will pushed him aside and arranged the kindling in a pyramid. I took Jane’s hand, and she helped me arrange a circle of stones around it, then we went and gathered some pine needles and tore newspaper into strips.
Naya and Mike had done next to nothing, but that didn’t stop them from spending the whole night bragging about what an amazing fire they’d built.
With so many things pulling me in different directions, graduation day came upon me before I even realized it. I had wanted to skip it, but Jack never would have let me. And so I found myself up in the front row, in my stupid robe with my stupid pasteboard on my head, with a pink dress underneath that I’d spent a small fortune on and that no one couldappreciate. As I felt my sweat soaking into it, I told myself a T-shirt and shorts would have been smarter.
I looked back at the audience and found my parents out there. They’d driven up with my brothers and my sister. Our relationship still wasn’t the greatest, but I was happy they’d come. Agnes and Mary were sitting next to them and talking away, and Mike had his arm around Owen, who was much bigger than I remembered him.
He didn’t even ask about Spot anymore. That made me sad. I still set him on top of my pillow every time I made the bed. Poor Spot, he deserved to be remembered, but children are fickle. Owen was probably into Minecraft now.
Naya, Will, Lana, Sue, Curtis, and Chris were all out there waiting to scream my name. But we were called out in alphabetical order, so they’d have to wait a bit. Jack caught me looking at him and gave me a thumbs-up. He knew I was nervous. I smiled to reassure him.
All the students were on edge. It was silly, because we all knew we’d made it, we’d seen our grades weeks ago, but it still felt like something could go wrong. My heart pounded harder and harder the closer they got to my name. All I had to do was cross the stage, take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand, and stand with the rest of the group. Surely, I could manage that without stumbling or doing something stupid.
Or could I?
The person next to me got up. She seemed to walk over in slow motion. Then the dean looked down and read the next name.Jennifer Michelle Brown.
Of course, he had to read out my middle name. I was sure Jack thought that was hilarious. I did the same as the others, heard the clapping as I climbed the steps, the dean smiled and congratulated me, and I accepted my diploma. My palm was sweating as I turned to face the camera. My smile must have been less than convincing, because I’ve never felt so stressed in my life.
When I saw the flash, I walked toward the other graduates on the stage and waved at my friends and family. They were all standing up and applauding, and Jane, resting on Will’s shoulders, was shaking her little hands in the air.
There was a party in one of the quadrangles with waiters carrying passed hors d’oeuvres, mothers and fathers crying, graduates breathing one last sigh of relief. Some people were continuing on to grad school, but for me, the ordeal was done. And I was proud: the first person in my family to graduate from college.
Everyone congratulated me one by one, even the twins, which was an unprecedented event. I was tired, though, and soon I wanted to go home. I held out till midnight for other people’s sake, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I said I needed some sleep. Happily, everyone else was done by then, too.
As soon as I set foot in the apartment, my body released that balled-up tension. Jane was already sleeping, and Will and Naya took her to bed. Sue and Mike chatted in the living room. Strangely, I wasn’t ready for bed yet. I asked Jack if he wanted to have a beer with me. He said, “You’ve made me an offer I can’t refuse.”
We sat together on the folding chairs on the balcony, me in my pink dress and heels, him in a button-down shirt and pleated pants—which I think was a first. I don’t know which of us looked goofier.
“I want you to know,” he remarked to me as we were two beers in, “I don’t put on dress clothes for just anybody.”
“Poor baby, how you’ve suffered. I’m sure you’ll get me back when you have your next premiere and I have to go in some designer dress.”
We had gone back and forth about it, and I’d decided to go, though I dreaded the idea of watching a horror movie in Dolby surround. I’d had nightmares about that damned nun for years. But Jack had insisted, and of course I couldn’t leave him on his own.
“You’ll have to get used to it. That’s what rich people do,” Jack said.
“Great. Just what I’ve always dreamed of. Are you going to get a corny sports car, too?”
