No matter how much time passed, I didn’t think I’d ever feel comfortable talking about Monty. I could still remember too well what it all felt like, and I wondered if it would always be that way. My greatest wish was simply to forget he existed.
At least he hadn’t tried to get in touch with me again. Maybe now that he had Nelle to boss around all the time, he’d forgotten me. I sure hoped so.
Spencer asked, “Are you up for another mile or two?”
“No, I’m good. Remember, recovery’s important, too. Hey, since you mentioned him, have you seen Monty?”
They lived down the street from each other. It wasn’t exactly a stab in the dark. “I’ve caught sight of him,” Spencer said. “But only once or twice. He knows better than to try to talk to me. If he came within a foot of me, I’d beat him to a pulp.”
“What’s up with Nelle? Are they still going out?”
Since the funeral, I’d started to feel bad about how I’d treated her. Her timidity, her defensiveness—I had been the same way when I was going out with Monty.
Spencer scratched his chin, unsure how to respond. “She’s around. I wouldn’t say she’s doing great, let’s put it that way. I’m not one for gossip,but I don’t think that’s exactly a secret. She’s thin as a reed, she never leaves the house, she got fired from her job…her parents came and asked our parents for help, because they went through the same thing with you.”
“I think you mean they refused to go through it with me. Dad I can give a little credit to, he did tell me to go to the police before he caved to the pressure from everyone else in town. But the way Mom acted was just despicable. I know I shouldn’t complain, I’m sorry, I just felt burned by the whole situation. If you and Shannon hadn’t had my back, I don’t know what I’d have done.”
“I know, Jenny. And I do get why you’re angry. I’m not sure what Mom and Dad told them. I prefer to stay out of it. It’s a sad situation, but it’s not my business.”
I nodded and said, “You know what? I changed my mind. I could do another mile or two.”
That afternoon, back in the apartment, while Spencer was in Sue’s room gathering his things, I realized how much I’d miss him, and I wished he could stay a little longer. It felt like he’d only just arrived.
I walked him to the front door of the building and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want me to go to the airport with you?”
“Nah. I’m a grown-up, Jenny, I can manage one train ride on my own. There’s no point in you wasting the fare.”
“Sure,” I said. He reached up and mussed my hair. “Are you ever going to stop doing that?” I complained.
“Yeah. When you grow up.”
“I’m turning twenty-one in February! When are you going to admit I’m grown?”
“Maybe when you’re forty, we can talk.”
I stuck out my tongue, and he chuckled, then waved, slung hisbackpack over his shoulder, and walked off toward the train station. I stood watching until he turned the corner and disappeared.
It had been cold outside, and I’d gone down in only a T-shirt. When I returned to the apartment, I walked to the bedroom and put on one of Jack’s hoodies. Mike and Sue were in the living room. Naya and Will were out for a romantic dinner.
“Aw, you look so sad,” Sue said. “You want some milk and cookies?”
“I’m not hungry,” I responded.
“I’ll take some milk and cookies,” Mike said.
“I didn’t offer them to you, parasite.”
Mike smiled, looking almost as carefree as he had before Jack and I went on vacation. I sat down next to him and sank back on the couch. I guess they must have seen the worry on my face, because they started pelting me with questions about whether I missed my brother or missed Jack or was worried about school or was on my period, and finally, just to get them to shut up, I cried, “It’s not that! It’s not any of the stuff you’re saying! It’s a friend. I’m worried about a friend. Or not a friend. I don’t know what you’d call her. Remember how we got high together that time and I told you both I’d had an anxiety attack because a friend hooked up with my boyfriend? Well, it’s her.”
They nodded, understanding now, and Sue said, “Got it.”
“They’re together now,” I continued, “and according to Spencer, things aren’t going well. I got that impression too when I saw her at the funeral. And I’ve tried to call and check on her, but she won’t pick up.”
“You can call her from my phone, maybe she’ll pick up if she doesn’t recognize the number,” Mike said.
“What if she hangs up on me when I start talking?” I asked, almost preparing myself to be disappointed.
Sue responded wisely, “At least you’ll know you tried.”
